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He needed those things like breath in that moment, but he didn’t move.
He just spoke.
“Dad had CTE.”
Her body jerked in surprise.
Hale nodded and continued explaining, “He was experiencing some memory loss. Periods of confusion. Depression. The concussions he’d suffered from his parents’ abuse caused irreparable damage to his brain. And his neurologist said he was exhibiting early signs of Parkinson’s.”
It was then she reached out, put her hand on his forearm and tracked it to his hand. She pulled it to his thigh and linked her fingers through his.
Okay, shit.
Thank Christ.
Thank Christ.
Hale curled his fingers into her hand and kept going.
“I thought he gave me his medical records so I’d understand why he never learned how to be a parent. I think he did, but at first, I only saw the early history, not the more recent. While I was dealing emotionally with what Dad left me in that box, Tom read the whole thing and called Dad’s neurologist to set an appointment so we could talk. This means, since Dad didn’t do anything half-assed, it was also to share with all of us what led to him killing himself.”
“Oh, Hale,” she whispered, falling into his side and putting her head on his shoulder.
When she did that, his relief was so immense, it didn’t feel emotional, it felt corporeal, like a gaping open wound healed itself in a heartbeat.
He smelled her hair, so he turned his head and pressed his nose there.
There she was.
Once he had her all around, he lifted his head and continued.
“Genny is determined to believe that the CTE led to Dad’s suicide. The doctor confirmed suicidality is a symptom, and he shared he was very concerned about the levels of Dad’s depression. It was becoming unmanageable by his estimation. But he can’t say that’s why Dad did what he did in the end.”
“Okay,” she said gently. “What do you think?”
“I think Dad had a huge ego. He was one of the smartest people on the planet, he knew it, was proud of it, and Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy is progressive. There was going to be more memory loss, maybe aggression, and definitely early onset dementia. And this was on top of having a movement disorder like Parkinson’s.” He felt his lips tip up in a humorless smile. “He wouldn’t want to be remembered like that.”
“And he wouldn’t want the people he loved to have to endure that,” she said softly.
Hale’s throat closed so forcefully, there was pain.
Because, yes.
Corey Szabo wouldn’t want that.
He forced a swallow and shared, “It would be dishonest not to consider that it could also be about him not being able to live with the things he’d done. He’d done some really shitty things, sweetheart. And I know with the effort he put into making amends, he didn’t forget them.”
She bumped their hands on his thigh and agreed with a quiet, “Yes.”
“We’ll never know,” Hale continued. “What we do know is, essentially, his parents killed him.”
When he said that, she moaned, pulled their hands to her chest and turned into him.
He wrapped his other arm around her and gathered her closer.
Okay, right.
Now he felt even better.
