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I looked to Hale, surprised I did so suddenly feeling deep gratitude, because, whether he liked it or not, it was him who was going to make it all happen for me.
And my breath caught when I saw his pale green gaze was resting on me, open and warm, even so far as proud.
“You’re gonna do great,” he assured in a tone that was the same as his look.
I felt those words, words my mother would never say. I felt them hit hard. Burrow deep.
Change me.
It was too kind of a gesture to throw in his face, so I sent him a smile I knew had hints of nerves.
When he caught my smile, the warmth in his gaze intensified so much, I felt it circle my heart. An odd feeling I’d never experienced in my life.
And it felt amazing.
I forced myself to look at Chuck, “Let’s roll.”
Chuck called out the marker.
I looked to the camera.
And we rolled.
* * *
It was over,and I was not relieved.
I was not jubilant.
I was tripping, and the reason why was because Hale had been surprisingly friendly and forthcoming in the interview. Sure, he established boundaries early, and I skirted them to keep him comfortable and in the mood he was in, which, if I wasn’t wrong about how warm and earnest he’d come off, was going to earn him the undying love of just about anyone with a pulse.
Yes. When he wanted to be, he was just that charming.
This would normally sound good, no,great…and it was. For the interview.
What had me tripping was because I’d poked around in his love life, and although I wasn’t fond of the playful smile he’d had on his face when he looked right at me while he spoke, the bombshell he landed couldn’t be missed.
This happened when he’d said, “I like women with initiative and intelligence and courage. I like women who know who they are and what they want, and they don’t go in for any status quo. I like women who have scruples and believe in something. I like women who can stand up for themselves and what they think is right. And right now, I seem to be into blondes with light blue eyes. Though I enjoy companionship, that’s all it’ll be. I’ll never get married.”
He’d offered it, and I’d be shit at my job if I hadn’t jumped on it.
So I did.
“You never intend to get married?” I asked.
“Nope,” he answered.
“Is it an issue with the concept of marriage, perhaps religious, or the government’s involvement?”
“None of those. I’m just not the marrying type.”
“So you simply wish to remain unattached,” I surmised, though my inference was clear.
Unattached meant he would always be open to playing the field.
“No. I’m busy. I’ve always been busy. I’ll always be busy. And the manner in which I’m busy isn’t a typical kind of busy. My day starts at six, or earlier, and it could end at three in the morning because I need to be on a call to Tokyo. When you’re never in one place for longer than a couple of weeks, and usually it’s a lot less than that, it makes commitment difficult. And for me, that’s not going to change. You can’t force your partner to give up what they might want in their life to follow you around. You can’t force your spouse, who went into it with you to belong in a partnership, to be the only one holding up their end of the deal because you’ve got your mind on a hundred different things, and she’s only one of them. I have change I want to make, and that requires dedication. You can’t marry a woman when you’re already married to a mission. I’ll not put a woman through that.”
“You’re only thirty, Hale,” I noted. “That’s a long time to stick with ‘never.’”
