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“If you’re suggesting I suffer from the syndrome, you’d be absolutely correct. I learned to be independent early. I consider my friends my family, and my family are acquaintances to whom I’m socially bound to maintain an attachment, but I do my best to keep a distance. I was absolutely overshadowed by Oskar and neglected for Emilie. I’m definitely the outcast. This doesn’t include my dad, who I think feels a camaraderie with me, because he doesn’t fit in either.”
“At least you have an ally,” he murmured.
“Yes,” I agreed. “The middle child thing also gives you insight into my chosen career. I’m aware I was starved for attention growing up, so in front of the camera is where I always wanted to be.”
“Doing celebrity news?”
I shook my head even if he was watching the road. “I studied journalism at Syracuse. Internships while I was at school drove me to find my own groove.”
“Not into paying dues by fetching coffee?” he teased.
“Not into getting hit on by on-air talent. The weatherman where I worked was not a good guy.”
Hale had no response to that, but the atmosphere in the Jeep took a dive.
“They’re not all like that,” I assured him. “Not even close. And my decision was based on more. The Internet and social media have changed the game. Print is dying. People are moving from networks to streaming services. It’s had a negative effect on reporting. News agencies are no longer about informing the public in an objective manner. They’re about chasing viewers, and viewers want to be entertained. And many viewers these days want to hear only what they want to hear, and not have their beliefs and values questioned by hearing impartial facts, but instead, they want to be validated. I wanted to inform people, but in order for them to want to watch me, I was aware I needed to find some way to entertain them. What I do isn’t exactly a happy medium, but it isn’t pandering either. I’m open about what I do and the purpose of my show.” I pointed at the windshield. “You need to turn right at the next block.”
“Do you wish you were reporting the actual news?” he asked.
“At first, it felt skeevy, what I did,” I admitted. “I felt like I was only twenty-two, and I was already a sellout. Then another characteristic of being a middle child reared its head. I’m not ridiculously competitive, but it’s there. I wanted to do it better than the others. I wanted to spin it a different way. I got into it and realized I liked it, and I could make it not skeevy. It isn’t me with a bustling newsroom all around me, dedicated to digging up dirt on people. It isn’t me hiding behind a keyboard talking trash. I’m front and center, dishing about famous people, and I don’t pretend it’s anything else. You’re going to take another left at the next light.”
Hale drove, then he took that left, but through this, he didn’t say anything.
“You don’t approve of what I do,” I remarked.
“I lived my whole life with people like you talking about my dad, and Genny and Tom, and even me. It comes with the territory with what Genny and Tom wanted for their lives. I understood why people found my father fascinating. But, until recently, not me.”
“I don’t report on children,” I assured him. “Even ones put forward by their parents, like Kris did with her younger girls before they were really old enough to be exposed to the public like that. There’s plenty to say without adding that to the mix.”
“There aren’t many like you who have those kinds of hard limits.”
“I know,” I murmured. “Turn right up there and then park anywhere there’s a spot,” I instructed. “Mom and Dad live on that block.”
We had to park a block up from their house, but even when Hale expertly backed into the space, he didn’t turn off the Jeep or climb out.
He turned to me.
“That’s all good to know, and I’m glad I know it. But what I need to know as your boyfriend is how you take your coffee. If you’re a morning person. What you eat for breakfast. What’s your favorite book. Shit like that.”
“Splash of creamer, usually vanilla, but I won’t turn down white mocha. I’m an all-the-time person. I eat when I eat, and I usually do it poorly, because by the time I remember to eat, I’m starving. I don’t have time to read for pleasure, but when I do, it’s usually a thriller. Riley Sager is a current favorite. And I don’t have time to watch many movies, unless I’m invited to the premiere, though I usually leave before it’s over so I can film my report. But I managed to catchEverything, Everywhere, All at Once, and it was a wild ride, but it moved me tremendously. I have mommy issues, so it would. How about you?”
“Cream, two sugars, three, if I’m feeling the need for an extra jolt. I’m a morning person. One of the things I hate the most about the yoke Dad laid on me was that I don’t often have time to wind down in the evenings, which suits me better than being on the go all the time. I start the day with a smoothie and oatmeal, or yogurt, granola and fruit. I read as much as I can, anywhere I can. I recently finishedStamped from the Beginning, which was hard to take, but it’s important I gave it my time, and I think everyone should read it. And I was moved byEverything, Everywhere, All at Oncetoo, because I also have mom issues, but I’ve had a crush on Michelle Yeoh since I was twelve and sawCrouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which is my favorite movie of all time.”
“It’s a good one,” I whispered, and I was moved right then, because he was sharing with me not because he was being interviewed, but because he was spending his Saturday night doing something kind for me.
Not to mention, I liked all the things he had to say.
“Important note, I’m a protective boyfriend,” he announced. “So, if this isn’t just normal family dysfunction, and shit goes bad in there, I’m probably not going to let you sit through it.”
I was still whispering when I said, “Okay.”
His voice changed, it became softer, sweeter, when he said, “You look really pretty, baby. I like your outfit. It’s gorgeous on you.”
I didn’t remember the last time I cried. I wasn’t a crier. I never had been.
But I felt them coming then.
Because, I didn’t know, since my last real boyfriend was in high school, but I suspected those were the words any devoted boyfriend would say to his girlfriend right before she had to walk into a house where she never felt she belonged, where it had been made clear she never did anything right, and she needed her man to say just the right thing so she could get through it.
