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“You two okay?” Myra asked.
She was close and startled me.
Sighing, I dragged my palms down the side of my thighs to dry the nervous sweat on them, before sitting beside Myra to wait for our time to go.
Tex was keeping an eye on things, and we had to wait until things grew dark before we made a move.
“I don’t know?”
“Is that a question?” Myra smiled.
“I don’t know.” I sighed in surrender “Ever want a man so bad but your past just keeps getting in the way making you say and do some stupid shit?”
“Been there.” Myra chortled. “Done that.”
“My ex left me to go back to his ex-wife.” I admitted to this woman I barely knew.
It must be the kindness in her eyes.
“After two years, I was suddenly not good enough.” I continued. “But after a while I realized I should see it coming. She was prettier, wealthier, more outgoing.”
“That is not on you.” Myra explained. “And I may not know much about Carter but if he did that, he’d be a rat bastard and wouldn’t deserve to step in your poop. You hear me?”
I had to smile.
“You’re sweet.”
“Sweet nothing.” Myra moved her body into a more comfortable position. “Sometimes, I say, never fight over a man. Because not every man deserves that kind of loyalty. But if this man—this man right here—is the one your heart is calling out for, you punch a bitch in the throat, got that?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I laughed softly.
“Besides, I’m sure you see the ass on that man.” Myra leaned into whisper. “It’s almost as good as my Wolfie’s.”
I stared at her before giggling.
“Listen, falling for someone is hard and scary.” Myra sighed. “I should know. You want to know how I met Wolfie? Plane crash in the middle of God’s nowhere. And he didn’t make it easy. You see, he’d given up on the world and was living alone with his dog, quite happy. And here I come, falling out of the sky. And I fought it—most of the time I didn’t think I was good enough for him. But you want to know something—that didn’t matter. Even if I wasn’t good enough—he loved me anyway.”
“And you think Carter will love me too?”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “Maybe not. But love is always trial and error. There are no sure things in it.”
“I’m scared.”
“Yeah—I’ve been with my Wolf for a while now. We have a little girl we adopted and a one year old son—and trust me, I still wake up sometimes and reach across the bed for him. Sometimes, he gets up and walks around our property—”
“Ex military?” I asked.
“Yeah.” Myra replied. “Ex special forces.”
“I do that too.” I admitted. “It’s just to check—to make sure.”
“I know. He wants to protect me and his babies.” Myra smiled. “But sometimes when I reach for him and he’s not there I panic thinking it was all a dream. That all the kisses we’d shared, the dangers, the moments he rubbed my lower back to relieve my stress—that all of it is a dream.”
“You’re saying the fear will never go away?”
“No.” She rubbed my shoulder. “What you have to do, is learn to live with it and not let it overwhelm you. A little bit of fear is a good thing.”
“Ladies?” Wolf called from behind us.
