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These were questions Blake should have anticipated, but she had been so preoccupied with what was going on between her and Morgan that she’d forgotten. If they had actually been speaking to each other the last few days, it probably would have come up.
It wasn’t that she was ashamed of being a nanny, but sleeping with her boss had such a tabloid-ish ring to it that it cheapened what she believed she and Morgan had. And the woman asking her the question had such a competitive bitch vibe that Blake did not want to give her any gossip fodder. The subject also struck the same painful chord about her identity that she’d been agonizing over recently by rendering obsolete the ten years Blake had spent working at her academic career.
As her mind raced through options of what to say, Morgan chimed in with, “We met when she was visiting her brother, a friend of mine who lives in the North Fork. Blake has been teaching ancient history and classical studies at the University of Chicago. She is in between jobs right now, although Harvard, her alma mater, recently offered her a position.”
Dumbfounded by his response, Blake wished she could kiss him for it right now. Not only did the speechless reaction of Olivia and the raised eyebrows of others listening in give her some much-needed props, but the fact that Morgan seemed proud of Blake for her achievements meant there was hope for them. That maybe he understood how much it meant to her.
Uncle Phil had said he would. He’d called her this morning to see how things were going after the tension the whole family had witnessed at Christmas after Marni brought up the job offer. He teased her about the way her sisters used to call her a chicken when she was afraid of the dark, and she admitted she was ashamed of the cowardice she had shown in not talking to Morgan about the email as soon as it had come in, not to mention avoiding him the last few days.
“Love has to include honest communication, Blake,” Uncle Phil said to her this morning. “I know he will understand if you go to him and lay it all on the line. And ask him to do the same.”
“Aunt Ginny was so lucky to have you for a husband, and I’m so grateful you are there for me.”
“I was the lucky one,” Phil said. “I miss her every day. So don’t you waste precious time being too chicken to speak your mind to the man you love.”
And tonight she was ready to do that.
* * *
On the way home,the conversation between Blake and Morgan was sparse, but their mood was a little lighter, having enjoyed a good time and pulling off their “act.” Neither of them mentioned the people who came up to them all evening to congratulate them on their engagement.
When they walked in the door of the house, Morgan could see Blake getting nervous. With Ciara gone for the night, this was their chance to clear the air. If Blake thought she was going to hide on him again, she did not know him very well.
But the moment they stepped inside, Blake said, “I want to talk, Morgan. Okay?”
“About?” Of course he knew, but he was not going to make it easy on her.
“About you and me and Ciara and my work here as her nanny and my past and the teaching position and anything else you would want to talk about.”
“All right.” He took off his jacket and tossed it on the sofa where the two cats were sleeping next to each other. Then he sat in one of the leather club chairs in the living room, his hand sweeping out to indicate she should sit in the one facing it. When she did, Morgan nodded for her to begin.
Blake took a breath. “I have been really happy here. You know I adore your daughter and you have been more than generous to me. But there are parts of me that are missing, and I take responsibility for that, but it has gotten to a point where I need to become whole. I wanted to be the best nanny possible for Ciara, and I”—she cleared her throat—“I wanted the romantic relationship you and I had. But growing up, my biggest joy came from books. I was a shy studious bookworm that kids in school teased. When I got to college I found a world where I fit in. I love teaching and doing research in my field, and I need to go back to that.”
His heart sank. So she was leaving him. Morgan was good at keeping a fortress-like shield around his feelings, but Blake had just shattered him inside. During the party, he’d read the silent intimate exchanges they had as a sign of her being in love with him.
He lifted one side of his mouth in a smirk. “Great. Another woman who sees a child as an inconvenience.”
Blake sprang to her feet, hands fisted at her side. “Don’t you dare compare me to Fawn!” she shouted at him. “A child would always come first for me, but I would like to also retain some connection to a professional life I worked long and hard to establish, just as hard as you did yours. Would you be happy quitting your work, giving up the company you and Cory built and only being in the role of daddy twenty-four seven?”
He lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t have that luxury.”
“Yes, you do. You could sell your company and this house, invest the money and move into a nice apartment or town house and do just fine.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Pfft. Don’t lie to me. I am trying to be real here. If we’re not going to be honest, then why bother talking at all?”
Now Morgan stood too, facing her. “Then tell me why you hid the job offer from me. Considering how often we’ve been sleeping together and talking about a relationship, I think you owed me some honesty.”
“I agree,” she said with a curt nod. “I should have spoken to you about it right away. The offer came in less than a week before Christmas, and aside from being busy with preparations, I convinced myself it would be better to wait until after the holiday to discuss it because I was confused and scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of asking if you intend to marry me,” she blurted out. “Of giving up a job I would have killed for a year ago when I don’t know if you and I are anything more than fuck buddies.”
“We are long past that, Blake.”
“Are we?” she asked, her tone challenging. “Or am I just one of the best nannies you’ve ever had? If I stay here long enough will I have to witness you dating another woman?”
