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Anxious energy fills the room as she finds a position that works. Danielle has her hands on the headboard as she straddles my face. “What if I suffocate you?” She asks nervously.
“Then I’ll die a happy man.” I pull her down until she’s sitting on my face, and I make love to her pussy. I write love letters in the satin of her folds. I tell her how much she means to me in the hearts I draw over her clit. One forbidden tongue swipe across her puckered back door entrance has her popping off like a firework.
We are explorers, uncovering the secrets of each other’s bodies. Where many women have traveled the paths of mine before, I am the only man to touch hers. And I thank God every night that a woman as sweet and innocent as Danielle would give me the gift of her vulnerability.
I’ll admit that I keep an eye on her stomach. I’ve come inside her so many times that I swear my seed has to be growing. I’m terrified that she’ll tell me she’s pregnant, and we’ll lose this beautiful life we’ve made together. I plan for the moment she tells me she’s carrying my baby, and we can begin a real life together as man and wife. I’m full of contradiction and emotion.
Sometimes when she texts me during the school day, it’s to tell me that she can still feel me inside her, wetting her panties as I slowly drip out of her center throughout the school day. I find myself in the teacher’s bathroom on more than one occasion, yanking my dick until I’m coming into the cheap, mass-manufactured paper towels. Danielle drives me over the edge; she drives me to insanity. And I love every moment of it.
Our relationship exists in the daylight and shadows. But every day we’re together is one day closer to our two worlds colliding.
24
HOLY
November springs upon us without any warning. Our relationship has been chugging along for weeks. The blip with Elliot Graham came and passed and is now forgotten. He still looks at me in the hallways like he’s wishing the Earth would split in two and swallow me whole, but his opinion means nothing to me.
With Thanksgiving fast approaching and family obligations mounting, our time together is halved. Danielle spends more time with her friends at the mall, shopping for Christmas gifts. She’s told me a dozen times that she’s spending Thanksgiving on the slopes with her father and extended family. The trip was paid for by her grandparents, and she can’t see a way out of it. “I won’t see them at Christmas since they’re going back east to see my uncle and his family, so we’re doing a gift exchange at the cabin in Colorado.”
I watch her painstakingly wrap presents on the floor of my living room. A beautiful cashmere scarf is lovingly placed in a box and tied with a bow before being gingerly set in a bag. “My grandma loves soft stuff,” she says shyly.
I tell her about my Thanksgiving plans while she works and how I’m spending the holidays with my brother.
“Saint?” Danielle teases, and I can’t stop the smile that appears on my face. I love that she’s gotten to know my best friend. He still isn’t her biggest fan, but I reckon that’ll change after she graduates.
“No, not Saint this time. He has a girl.” In fact, he has a whole host of problems on his hands, but that’s not my concern. The last time I offered to help Saint with his female troubles, he told me to go fuck my teenage bride and leave him alone. We’re having a little lover’s spat right now, my best friend and me, but we’ll get past it someday soon. Tensions have been high lately.
“My actual brother, Harrison. His wife is pregnant with their fourth, and I’m going down to be fun Uncle Howard for the holidays.”
Danielle twists her head sharply to look at me. “Howard?” She asks with a frown.
“You didn’t think my name was Holy, did you?” Now that I think about it, she’s never called me Howard. But now that I think about it, I never told her what to call me at all.
“No,” Danielle allows, “but I guess I haven’t really tasted your name on my tongue before.”
I slide down onto the carpet beside her, affectionately rubbing my shoulder against hers. “If you want to taste Howard on your tongue, I’m sure I can give you that,” I tell her with a wink.
Danielle smacks my arm playfully and moves the bag containing her grandma’s Christmas cashmere out of the way. “I just meant I’ve been calling you Holy for so long that I was calling our fictitious kids Holy Jr. and Holly if it’s a girl.”
My eyebrow raises in twisted fear and excitement. “You got something to tell me?”
Her smile softens. “No, of course not,” Danielle sighs. “I’m just thinking about our future.”
Just a few months ago, I didn’t have anyone to think about the future with except the Kings. I love my Carnage family, but I’ve seen so many of them find happiness of their own. It feels right that I finally have that chance myself. “Plan away, gorgeous.” I lean in to kiss her. “If you want to go to the moon next week, let me know, and I’ll make it happen.”
When she leaves for the night, my heart breaks. It’ll be the first time since the early days of our relationship that we’ve spent so long apart. It’s only five days, but it feels like a lifetime.
I spend my Thanksgiving torn between playing hide and seek, making food, napping, and texting Danielle. She pops up in my notifications from time to time. When she isn’t skiing with her grandpa or making homemade hot chocolate with her aunt, she shoots me a quick hello. Both of us are busy, but we’re thinking about each other, and that’s what the texts say.
Our five days apart pass at a strange rate. One minute, time feels like it’s flying. The next, it feels like it’s standing still. And when it’s time for me to start my drive back to Manhattan, I’m worn out and thrilled at the same time.
“Next time, you gotta bring your girl with you,” Harrison says as he leads me to the exit. “If she’s going to be around for a while, of course. I don’t want the kids to get attached to someone you aren’t serious about.”
I pat my older brother on the back and grin. “I’ve never been more serious about someone. I’m gonna marry this girl.”
Harrison nods his head, impressed with my response. “Does she know how you feel?”
I’ve told her every night for the last month that I loved her. Sometimes it was over text; other nights, it was when we were tucked in bed together. “She knows my feelings, but maybe not my intentions.”
