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Lei nodded, mouth twisting to the side as her eyes watered. “God. I feel so stupid even being affected by that now. That was ten years ago. I shouldn’t even remember his damn name.”
“Now that is not true. What you went through was horrible. It’s totally understandable for you to be traumatized.”
“I just…” Lei sucked her teeth as her head shook. “Want to be completely healed. Like… how much of my mind and time do I have to give these people? I want to get to a place where I never think about them at all.”
“Do you honestly think that’s possible if you continue to talk to Jennifer?” Lei didn’t reply right away, so Infinity continued. “And… I know you don’t want to hear this, but you giving up on love doesn’t help either. Love heals. How do you think you’re going to release the power that situation has over you if you never try to love again? You’re basically letting them and the pain win. I know it’s to protect yourself, but some wounds can only be healed through love.”
With a sigh, Lei ran her fingers through her extra small knotless braids.
“Maybe you’re right but I’m scared. I can admit that. All I can think about is being hurt even worse. Those were my people. If they could do me like that, what’s stopping the next man from doing worse?”
“His character. His fear of God. His integrity. His mama.” They shared a soft laugh. “There are good men out there, sis.”
“I know, I know. The logic of that does nothing for the pain in my heart, but I know you’re right.”
“Can you at least promise me you’ll be open to love? Even if you don’t go looking for it, can you promise to accept it if it finds you?”
Lei thought over Infinity’s request before she agreed, and as she figured it would, talking to Infinity helped her feel lighter. Their waitress returned with their drinks, and they ordered seafood dip as their appetizer. While Infinity opted for a ramen bowl, Lei got fried lobster and jalapeño sushi instead. She loved the seafood-Japanese fusion of the restaurant’s menu. Though almost everything on the menu was good, Lei often gravitated toward a sushi roll or salmon tacos.
Their conversation shifted effortlessly as their lunch progressed, and by the time their entrées arrived, Cade was walking over to their table with a bouquet of red roses in hand for Infinity. She lifted them to her nose and inhaled them before standing and giving him a hug. Lei’s mouth dropped when Infinity placed a kiss to the corner of Cade’s mouth. Biting down on his bottom lip, he put a step of space between them and watched as she sat back down.
“You are such a gentleman,” Lei said before bursting into a fit of giggles.
If Infinity’s cocoa brown skin could redden, Lei was sure it would have in that moment.
All Cade did was shoot her a wink and squeeze her shoulder before he walked away.
For a while, Lei stared at her best friend with a goofy grin.
“What!” Infinity yelled quietly before smiling so hard she covered her mouth to hide it.
“I’m just trying to figure out why you won’t give my brother any play.”
Infinity’s eyes rolled playfully as she shook her head and set the roses on the table.
“You know I can’t go there with Cade. I love bad boys too much.”
“My brother ain’t no square.”
“No, he’s not. I know Cade can take it there when he needs to. But… I love roughnecks. Tatted up, grills, baggy jeans… that type.”
Infinity was proof that opposites did, in fact, attract. She screamed good girl from her job and appearance to the way she carried herself. Lei couldn’t blame her though. There was something about the excitement of bad boys that appealed to her… and it was even better when the bad boys could make a woman feel good.
thirteen
That Weekend
While Lei waitedfor Destiny and Simone to join her for their monthly Zoom call, she decided to finally check her pen portal for new messages. Unfortunately, when she left Memphis, she didn’t just leave her family’s betrayal behind—she left her best friends behind too. Simone and Destiny were true friends who gave her the grace to navigate her life as she saw fit. Because she hadn’t stepped foot in Memphis for years, they came to Rose Valley Hills to spend Thanksgiving with her every year. Other than that, they caught up via Zoom once a month.
Simone and Danny were now married, and Destiny had recently gotten engaged to her high school sweetheart Pierre.
She smiled at the sight of three new messages. While she was curious about what all three men had said, Lei gravitated toward Londen. All she’d said to him was hi, so Lei couldn’t help but wonder what he had to say.
Royalty,
I appreciateyou sending a message first, since that is what the program requires. I appreciate, even more, being able to initiate our first conversation. While I’m not sure if that was your intention or not with the short message, I intend to take full advantage of it. The desire to know what led a beautiful woman like you to a program like this is the first thing that enters my mind. I refuse to believe you’re so lonely that you have to seek companionship through this program. Perhaps you’re living a life that is unauthentic and you desire a connection that will allow you to be yourself. Because what amount of judgment could an imprisoned man give you, right? Or maybe it’s a bet or research. Whatever your reasoning, I’m glad to make your acquaintance. How much would you like to share about yourself? And how much about me would you like to receive? Looking forward to your response.
“Hmm,”Lei hummed under her breath. While Lei wasn’t sure what she expected Londen to say, that wasn’t it. She found herself looking at the bottom of the screen to see if he was online for a live chat. Since he wasn’t, she decided to quickly draft a reply.
