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“That’s good to hear,” Jennifer said. “We’ve been worried about you. You haven’t been answering any of our calls…”
“I apologize for that,” Royalty interrupted to say. “I planned to call you today, though.”
“We wanted to stop by and apologize ourselves,” her father said. “After the wedding, your mom shared with me the brief talk the two of you had. She said it felt like you had a lot of resentment toward us. That you feel as if you’re alone or that we aren’t there for you.” He looked over at Jennifer. “That we shoved you to the side.”
The fact that her mother had used her exact words in conversation with her father meant more to Royalty than she imagined it could. Her eyes closed briefly as she inhaled a deep breath.
“Can we please talk about that?”
Royalty took a small sip of her coffee. “When Regal was born, you both started treating me differently. Maybe I was spoiled and took not having all of your attention anymore hard because I was a five-year-old child. Whatever the reason, I felt like you all weren’t there for me as much as you used to be when you had her. The older she got, the more it felt like a competition between us. You made her do everything I did but you were prouder of her for it. From dance to art to playing an instrument. She literally followed in the same footsteps as me, yet you all praised her more and stopped caring about my interests and activities. I felt alone and ignored, and that’s why I started acting out. I was angry and thought since being good didn’t get your attention, maybe being bad would.”
Royalty laughed quietly. Her head hung and shook as she sighed. “When I started acting out, you two treated me like I was the biggest burden. Like I was an inconvenience. Then I told you I wanted to stay home for school, but you forced me to stay on campus. I felt like you didn’t want me around so you could give all your focus and love to Regal. I got my shit together in college and thought maybe things could turn around between us after that, then you put me up in this apartment and offered to pay my bills just to keep me out of your house. I just…”
Royalty shrugged as she avoided their eyes. “I just feel like having me was a mistake. Like she was the daughter you two feel like you got it right with. In my mind, I believe you don’t love me or care about me anymore, though I know that’s not true in my heart. It’s difficult for me to rationalize and say you love me just because you say you do, when ever since I was five, your actions have said the opposite.”
Neither of her parents replied right away. While Jennifer wiped away fallen tears, Marcus squeezed his closed eyes.
“We’re not going to try to justify why we treated you the way we did with excuses,” Marcus said. “But I want to make extremely clear that there was never a competition with you and your sister. We have never loved either of you more than the other. You have never been a burden or a mistake, Royalty.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Jennifer chuckled, but quickly stopped. “We might not have done everything right, and I won’t deny that we may not have divided our time properly, but I also can’t let you sit here and make it seem as if we were horrible parents who tossed you to the side when we had a second baby.”
Royalty’s head tilted as she stared at her mother. “But you did.”
“Jen,” Marcus called softly. “You can’t argue with her feelings or perception of things. If that’s how she felt, she’s entitled to that. Whether it’s true or false, whether you agree or not, that’s howshefelt. That’s all that matters right now. And to be honest, your response is a prime example of why she feels the way she does.” Marcus turned slightly in his seat. “When Regal was born, we did focus on Royalty less. It was hard on us to raise a newborn with just one child. I can honestly say we dropped the ball with Roy when Regal was born. To me, I felt like she was old enough to not need as much attention. I can admit that and that it was wrong. Can you?”
Jennifer’s head lowered and she remained silent, causing Royalty to chuckle.
“You just… refuse to admit that you were wrong. You refuse to say you dropped the ball with me. It’s fine, Ma. You don’t have to.”
Royalty’s head shook as she shifted her attention to her father. “Thank you for finally acknowledging that. I can say now that I’m sure juggling your jobs and two kids, plus your relationship, was probably really tough. Did it hurt to feel neglected and ignored? Yeah, but I get it. It happens. Some kids handle it gracefully and not let it shape them. That wasn’t the case for me. I’m finally at a point in my life now where I want to take complete control, which is why I planned to call and talk to both of you.”
Pausing, Royalty tried to prepare for their reactions to what she was about to say. She knew her mother would speak negatively about her choice while her father tried to play referee. That had always been the case.
“I need a fresh start. Steven cheating on me with Regal hit me in a place that still hurts and probably will for a while. There are too many memories in this apartment, this city, for me to heal and focus on myself. Last night, I booked a hotel room in Coronado.”
“California?” Marcus confirmed.
Royalty nodded. “Yes. I’m going to stay there and at Mission Beach for a while until I come up with my next plan. I have enough money saved to not worry about working for at least six months. So…” She shrugged. “My flight leaves Wednesday morning.”
“Whatever is best for you,” he agreed while Jennifer shook her head.
“Running is not going to solve this family’s issues. You need to stay here so we can work on this. No matter who the father is, you will have a niece or nephew soon. This issue needs to be resolved before the baby gets here.”
With a chuckle, Royalty sat up in her seat. “I don’t plan to be in Regal or that baby’s life, and there’s literally nothing you can say or do to change my mind.”
“The baby is innocent…”
“And that’s exactly why I’m staying away.” She stood. “My mind is made up. You can leave when you’re ready. I have a lot of packing to do before I go.”
“Royalty…”
“Leave it be, Jennifer,” Marcus said, causing her to chuckle.
“You always do this. You always side with her and make me out to be the bad guy.” Jennifer’s eyes shifted to Royalty. “That’swhy we wanted you out of the house—to save our marriage! Dealing with your antics almost led to us divorcing. Getting you out felt like the only way to keep you and Regal from killing each other and making us divorce because we were always fighting over you.”
Nibbling her cheek, Royalty ran her fingers through her hair as her eyes watered. Sighing, she allowed the feeling of defeat to settle within the pit of her. She was so tired. Tired of this cycle. Tired of this same fight. Tired of trying to figure out what the hell happened between her and her mother that created this tension between them. Even with all the responsibility she tried to take, it still didn’t make sense.
“I give up with you,” she muttered as her father stood. “I’m standing here telling you what I’m going to do for myself, and you make it about you and her. Even after what she did to me, you still talk to me with so little love and respect. You still expect me to put my feelings and needs aside to accommodate her. She slept with my fiancé and will be having his baby, and that means nothing to you. Yet again, all you give a fuck about is Regal. How dare you sit there and demand I fix something that I didn’t break? This is Regal and Steven’s fault. Not mine!”
