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“If we keep this up, we’re not going to progress,” Marcus said. “Jen, why don’t you go wait outside in the car?”
Scoffing, Jennifer walked around the table and headed for the door. After it slammed, Marcus walked over to Royalty and pulled her into his arms. She didn’t realize how much she needed the love until she had it. Royalty crumbled in his arms and sobbed.
“Why does she hate me so much? What did I do to her, Daddy?”
“Shh.” Marcus kissed the top of her head and held her tighter. “She doesn’t matter right now. You’re all that matters to me.”
Clinging to the back of her father’s shirt, Royalty cried even harder. She cried until she physically couldn’t stand anymore. Cried for her mother, her father, her sister. The five-year-old girl who felt replaced and unloved. Unwanted. Neglected. Cried for the ending of her marriage before it even began. Cried for her bleeding heart.
Marcus helped her into bed, promising to stay until she no longer needed him to. Royalty insisted he leave but she wouldn’t force him to. She found comfort in his desire to be there for her. To put her first. To see to her needs. Her father went outside, and after a few minutes, he returned to let her know Jennifer had left. That fact had given her even more peace. As her eyelids grew heavy, her father told her to rest and that they could talk when she woke up…
five
“I don’t knowwhere to start,” Marcus confessed.
A few hours had passed. Royalty had napped, showered, and cooked… though she didn’t have much of an appetite. They had just finished eating barbecued drumsticks, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. While Marcus sat on one end of the couch, Corona in hand, Royalty was on the other sipping a glass of Port. The TV was onOne Tree Hill, the last show Royalty had started to binge on Hulu, but neither of them were paying it much attention.
“The beginning is always a good place to start,” Royalty stated softly.
Surprisingly, she felt soft and safe with her father, and she hadn’t felt that way in a while.
“Okay, but before I begin, I need you to promise me you will hear me out completely before you talk. Listen to receive and understand, not reply.”
That request began to unnerve Royalty, but it also made her want to know more.
“I promise.”
Nodding, Marcus took a long swig of his beer before setting it on the small table next to the couch.
“Before you were born, Jen and I tried to have a baby for years. It put a huge strain on our marriage. I cheated and the woman got pregnant. Upon learning this, I made the decision to divorce Jen. It felt selfish to ask her to stay with me while I raised my baby with someone else, knowing how desperately she wanted a child herself.” He paused and took in a deep breath. “I was honest with Jennifer, and she agreed to the divorce. We didn’t want to part ways, but I didn’t want my selfish choice to make us both suffer for the rest of our lives.” Marcus squeezed the back of his neck and looked away briefly. “Unfortunately, Cashmere died while giving birth to our child. When Jen found out, she came back to me and offered to help. Eventually, we decided to get back together and agreed that Jen would raise the baby as her own.”
As his confession began to loop around in her mind, Royalty’s heart raced.
“Are you saying Jennifer is not my birth mother? That the woman who gave birth to me died?”
“Yes, baby girl. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Wow,” she muttered, chuckling nervously.
Her leg began to shake as she stared into the distance. Marcus continued.
“We didn’t think she would have a child, so when she had Regal, it was like a miracle. I can admit that she treated Regal differently because she’d actually given birth to her. With Regal, you became just a reminder of my infidelity. With Regal, Jen began to act as if she didn’t need you anymore. I called her out on it and reminded her she promised to treat you as if you were her own child, and she would always throw me cheating up in my face. I felt bad about breaking our vows and hurting her, so when we had those fights, I’d often give in and let her have her way.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I convinced myself that you were too young to notice that she treated you differently. I was in denial, telling myself you acting out had nothing to do with it. After the things you said today, I couldn’t hold the truth back any longer. I knew it would free you from the way you were treated. You didn’t deserve that, at all, and I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you better.”
All she could do was nod. When she learned the truth about Regal and Steven, Royalty didn’t think things could get any worse. Now… that was a lie.
“Roy,” Marcus called softly. “How do you feel?”
Her eyes blinked rapidly. Body heavy, she slowly turned her head in his direction.
“Tired. Can you go? I just really want to sleep.”
“Yes, of course. But…”
“Please, Daddy,” she whispered through trembling lips as her eyes watered. “Please go.”
