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The cocky expression that covered his face made me smirk.
“The house salad with steak, medium well, extra croutons.”
That was theperfectchoice.
“I approve.”
His laugh sounded like a favorite song that I hadn’t heard in a while.
“I miss you, Chapel. So much.”
“I miss you too. I miss our friendship. We never should’ve dated.”
“I’m glad we did. I just… hate how it ended. I want to fix things, Chap. You said I can’t, that I shouldn’t, but I want to. Our crew is broken, but not beyond repair. Even if I have to start with Lay and Jerry and work my way up to you I will, but I’m going to fix this.”
His words went straight to my heart, filling me with pride.
“I can’t stop you.”
“I’m glad you know that.”
I took a sip of my wine, pleased to taste the plum flavor. “So how did we get here, Nova? How did this happen?”
The comfortable smile he wore fell. “The wedding. Its planning. It destroyed us.”
That was a different perspective. One that I wasn’t expecting or prepared for. “How so?”
“It felt like you cared more about the wedding than our relationship. You were always so busy and stressed out, which put you in a bad mood. We weren’t intimate with each other in the ways we were before we got engaged and started planning the wedding. For a year and a half straight, our relationship suffered. It didn’t help that work was kicking both of our asses. I was busy with just my associates, but you were over everyone, so I knew your load was twice as heavy as mine.”
“Why didn’t you say anything, Nova?”
“I felt like a bitch. I didn’t want to complain about you working too much or planning our wedding and being stressed out or moody because of it. I know now that I should have helped you more and lightened your load instead of feeling neglected because of it. If all I get out of this is that life lesson, to be a better partner and speak up about how I feel, I’ll never cheat and make this mistake again.”
“So what? Tiffany gave you the attention you wanted from me?”
“Yeah, and I know that sounds cliché but it’s the truth. She had been flirting with me since she started working for you. In the beginning, I let it ride. It didn’t faze me because things were good with you. Then you stopped complimenting my haircuts and telling me I looked good. The I love yous seemed like empty words between us. We weren’t going on dates and traveling, and the sex was quick if we even had it at all. And it’s not all on you. I could have put forth more effort, but I didn’t. I wasn’t used to having to put in the work, you feel me? When things started to get boring with a woman, I would just move on. I couldn’t move on from you.”
“So you were in an actual relationship with her? It wasn’t just sex?”
He nodded, taking a pause like he didn’t trust himself to speak. “Yeah. We didn’t have a title, but we spent time together, went out, and had sex. She made me feel good, as selfish as that sounds. I got my fill from her before I came home to be discontent with you.”
“Wow.” My head shook in disbelief.
“I’m not trying to make it seem like this is your fault, bae.” Nova reached across the table and took my hand into his. “I should have spoken up and worked to bring the fire back. And if I felt like that couldn’t happen, I should have ended things. Regardless of what you were or weren’t doing, that is no excuse for me to have cheated on you, especially with Tiffany.”
“Do you… love her?”
I pulled my hand out of his as my eyes watered. I wasn’t sure what he’d say… if I could handle his answer. But I had to ask.
“I love the way she made me feel but I don’t love her. Things between us aren’t good.”
“Then why are you with her?”
He released a heavy breath and looked out of the window toward the beach. “Because if I’m not, losing you feels even less worth it. What I had with her is the reason I lost you. I guess I felt like I had no choice but to be with her.”
I didn’t respond.
I couldn’t.
