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We tumbled onto the couch, where I gave him slow, sloppy head before riding him until we both were empty.
After we pulled apart from each other, we showered and snuggled up on the futon in his bedroom to watch a movie, but the way I felt, I’d be going to sleep soon.
“I need to go home tonight, pooh. I need more clothes.”
“You don’t want to wear something you already have here?”
My head shook as he massaged my scalp, and the gesture was about to put me to sleep. “No.”
“A’ight, well I’ll drive you since it’s so late.”
“You might as well pack a bag and stay there.”
Jeremiah chuckled, causing me to smile. “That’s what you want anyway.”
Unable to deny it, I lifted my head from his chest. “I don’t care where we sleep; I just want us to sleep together.”
“Speaking of… I want you to move in with me.”
“Really?” I almost whispered, tugging my bottom lip between my teeth.
“Yeah. I mean, we spend every night together anyway. It just makes sense. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so I’ll wait if you want to. But I want you to know my home is yours whenever you want it to be.”
His declaration made me want to go another round. I loved how easy it was for Jeremiah to express himself now. He was careful of how he expressed what he wanted and needed, and I did the same. Even when we had disagreements, we were mindful of the way we handled each other. I absolutely loved his big, beautiful home and would have been honored to live with him at any time. There was a part of me that wondered how quickly we’d get into a relationship and get married if we started living together now, but I trusted Jerry to do right by me. I also was a little scared about things progressing because of my fear of being hurt again. No matter how much my mind told me I could fully trust Jeremiah, my heart still had the scars from Nova that urged me to take things slow.
I told him that we could take it slow with me spending two weeks at his place and him spending two weeks at mine and take it from there. I don’t know. Fear of titles and moving in and getting engaged felt like milestones that would lead to pain and being triggered. All I could think about was us getting into a committed relationship or engaged and finding out some horrible truth like with Nova. That wasn’t fair to Jerry or me, but that’s the current state I was in. Thankfully, he understood, and he agreed, giving me yet another reason he was perfect for me.
I straddled him and expressed my love for him as well, which led to him being inside of me again. That time, my pussy put him to sleep. After I washed up, I decided to just go home and grab what I needed. There was no point in me waking him up to drive me.
The drive to my place was quicker since the streets were clear. I hummed as I made my way upstairs to my front door with a smile on my face. Things were going so well in my life, and I was truly grateful for the positive progress that had been made. I didn’t think anything could change that until the lights went out and I took a misstep that had me falling onto the concrete steps.
30
Jeremiah
Chapel’s womb had become,to me, what her name meant—a place of worship. She was my heaven on earth, and I was willing to go to hell and back to make sure I never lost her. I felt the absence of her presence. When I woke up and saw that she’d left, I showered again and got in bed. Something didn’t feel right in my soul. We were connected there. If something was off with her, I’d know. I called her and she didn’t answer, so I checked her location and saw that she was at home.
A part of me figured Chapel had simply fallen asleep, but even if she had, she would have answered the phone. I felt led to go and make sure she was okay, and I was glad I did. The power had gone out while she was going up the stairs and I found her in the middle of them—bleeding and unconscious.
After calling for help, I reached out to her parents. I didn’t call anyone else until they came out with an update on her condition. Because of the impact of the fall, the doctor’s biggest concern was bleeding or swelling on her brain. They took her back for testing immediately. Thank God there wasn’t any major damage done. She did have a concussion and was still unconscious. Outside of a few scratches and bruises on the side that she fell on, Chapel would be okay.
When I first found her, I was scared as fuck. All I could think about was losing her and we’d just gotten started. I prayed harder than I ever had, hoping God wouldn’t give her to me for this brief moment just to take her away. If He did, I would have found a way to be grateful for the time we’d shared. There was so much more to life that I wanted to experience with Chapel.
Outside of the professional moves we were about to make, I wanted to continue to travel with her and make memories. Do things we’d done for years as friends, as lovers. Experience things that were on our bucket lists. I wanted to marry her and give her three babies.
Our story couldn’t have ended this early.
Then I started to get upset. I’d told her repeatedly to have her uncle take care of the wiring at her place. If she would have, this accident wouldn’t have happened. As upset as I was, I could only blame myself. Even if Chapel didn’t make it a priority, I should have. I should have gotten one of the electricians that I outsource for my properties to handle it. This wasn’t going to happen again, though, because I’d already put in that call, and they were going to take care of it in the morning.
If anything, this moment taught me that I must take the lead with Chapel more. In my desire to give her space to learn to trust me in this new space we’re in, I’ve been giving her the reins to lead us more than I should. When we become a couple, where we sleep, when she calls her uncle, the pace of our relationship. All of that was going to change when she woke up. Almost losing her reminded me even more that I cannot lose her.
I don’t give a damn what happened with her and Nova or any other man in her past. Only love could heal pain. We were going to be in a relationship, we were going to live together, and she was going to be the woman I spent the rest of my life with. I wasn’t going to let her fears or insecurities stand in the way of that.
31
Chapel
I sleptfor three days straight. I think my body needed the rest more than anything. When I did wake up, people alternated between crying over me and being happy I was okay to scolding me for not getting the lights taken care of sooner. I appreciated the range of emotions and was grateful I had people in my life who truly cared about me, and Jeremiah was at the top of that list.
