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—
Avery doesn’t understandhow he’s supposed to fit his life into the time he’s being given to live it. Forgoing sleep would be the natural solution, but his eyelids think otherwise. Whoever scheduled the school play for the end of exam week is clearly a monster who feeds off the stress ofyouth. And what’s worse, Avery wants to do well in the playandace the exams. That takes more time.
Then there’s Ryan. Patient, eager Ryan. Way-too-far-away Ryan. Avery is thrilled to have a boyfriend…but instinctively knows relationships are like plants: You need to water them in order for them to grow, especially at the start. And the hitch is that you can’t water them with water. You have to water them with time.
Avery is not ecstatic about this metaphor. It’s only a short leap from here to imagining your relationship as the plant inLittle Shop of Horrors,insatiably demanding “FEED ME! FEEEEEEEED ME!” That’s not what he and Ryan are about. It will never be what they’re about. It’s just a thought.
The awful thing is that the couple Avery is closest to, his friends Aurora and Dusty, totally have aLittle Shop of Horrorsrelationship. It devours all their time and most of their attention. When Avery’s with them, he’s not a third wheel—he’s a spare tire waiting in the trunk. Neither of them knows about Ryan, because finding out about Ryan would require them to talk about something other than themselves, and they’ve proven to be almost humorously incapable of that since ninth grade.
Avery’s friends in the play are a little more attuned to what’s going on, and not just because Avery’s had to explain why he disappears with his phone every now and then. When you get to the seventh date, it starts to matter who you’ve told and who you haven’t, because it’s crossed the line from something that might happen to something that’sactually happening. Especially now that they’re using the b-word—part of having a boyfriend should be feeling able to tell people you have a boyfriend. That’s not a reason to do it; Avery didn’t say yes to Ryan in order to have bragging rights. It’s just become a part of the story of his life, so he wants to be able to share it with the people who include him in their own stories.
The most curious member of the production is Pope, who is the kind of teenager who can be cast as a gossipy octogenarian society matron without any discernible change of personality required. On the first day of rehearsal, Avery received his share ofI’m trying to figure you outglances from kids who didn’t really know him; Pope was the only one to come up and say hello. Within five minutes, Avery knew Pope was a first-year, nonbinary, and went by their last name, in no small part (they said) because they were an only child and didn’t have to worry about a sibling who’d want to do the same. Pope thought it was hysterical to have the last name they did. “Someone in my family had pretty twisted aspirations” was how they explained it. “Someday I’m going to get a gaudy ring just to make people kiss it.”
Pope had been at the dance when Avery had first met Ryan, and even though Pope didn’t have anything to do with the match, they still took some credit for it. “You wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t gone, too,” they insist now. “So therefore you wouldn’t have met Ryan if it hadn’t been for me.” Avery doesn’t want to put his relationship’s origin story through this particular butterfly effect, but he can’t resist thepride and investment Pope feels in seeing it all work out. There are times when Avery sneaks off to a classroom to talk to Ryan and he swears that Pope is guarding the door, to make sure the lovebirds have a chance to trill without anyone else hearing their song.
Pope pretends to be a cynic about love, but asks wide-eyed questions that betray their true belief in love as a perpetual engine of happiness. Talking to them, Avery sometimes wonders if he’s the opposite, an open optimist who harbors a fierce cautionary voice, who meets love reluctantly rather than gratefully. Not that he’s thinking of Ryan in terms of love right now. He’s thinking in terms of like, in terms of boyfriend. Not the same thing.
It’s not accurate to say Pope is more excited about Avery’s Saturday-night date than Avery is, but Pope is certainly louder about it. As soon as rehearsal is over on Thursday, Pope besieges Avery with questions—Where are you guys going? What are you going to wear? Do you think there will be more than kissing?And, unrelated,Can I get a ride home?
Avery can never deny Pope a ride home. They live pretty close to each other, and Avery remembers all too well what it was like to be a ninth grader, exposed to high school opportunities without the transportation to match.
As it happens, Ryan calls as they’re walking to the car. Avery answers and makes it quick, telling Ryan he’ll call back when he’s home. Pope and Avery are both in the car by the time goodbyes are exchanged.
Pope doesn’t say a word until the car is out of the parking lot. Slumped in the passenger seat, they check out the contents of the glove compartment. Then, finding nothing interesting there, they close it and say to Avery, “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”
Avery gives Pope a quick sideways turn of the head. “Not at all. Ryan and I will talk later.”
“But, like, if I weren’t here, you’d probably be talking right now.”
“I mean, probably. On speaker. Because I’m driving.”
“Oh my God.” Pope sits up straighter and actually palms their forehead. “I’m totally interrupting some sex talk!”
Avery laughs. “I think we’d be having how-was-your-day talk for the drive home.”
“Ohhhh. So the sex talk comeslater.”
At first Avery thinks Pope is joking. Then Pope goes on.
“C’mon…you’re in a long-distance relationship. There’s got to be a lot of sex talk. You know,oralsex—but, like, oral in the talking-out-loud sense, ha ha. Sexting, but with voices. Like he says, ‘Hey, what’re you wearing,’ and you tell him, and he says, ‘Ooh, that’s so hot,’ and—”
“Pope,” Avery interrupts, exasperated. “I know what you mean.”
“And…?”
“And…it’s none of your business.”
Pope pouts. “You’re no fun. If I were having sex, I’d tell you.”
“I promise you, I wouldn’t ask.”
“Fine. You’ve got to hear this song. Where’s the cord so I can plug in my phone?”
Pope isn’t introducing Avery to a cool new artist. Instead they just want to blast some classic Miley Cyrus.
Meanwhile, Avery is wondering if it’s weird that he and Ryan never have sex talk.
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