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“Well—that’s all sorted out. Apparently, Ryan, your father wanted to drive over here to pick you up—but I convinced your mother that would be a bad idea. I don’t think they understood how far away we live. But no matter—they’re now on board. I promised to take care of you, so please, no knife juggling or tying each other up.” (She does not mean this as a sexual reference. Ryan and Avery totally hear it as a sexual reference.)
“And,” she continues, “I also promised that you’ll stay in the guest room. Which in this house means the couch. The good news is that it opens up.”
Avery knows better than to challenge this decision, but is already strategizing ways around it. The idea of sharing sleep with Ryan is undeniably appealing.
Ryan wonders if he should call his parents back, apologize. What would make it better?
Nothing,his instincts inform him.Just be happy you’re not there. Be happy you’re here.
Avery touches him on the back and he startles. He can’t appreciate Avery’s affection as much with Avery’s parents watching. It feels…wrong. Not bad—just something that has to be worked up to.
Sensing this, Avery puts his hand down. His mom, meanwhile, curses loudly and makes a lunge for the oven, sighing with relief when no smoke billows out as she opensit.
“Dinner,” she says, “will soon be served.”
—
During dinner, Ryanobserves the way that family shorthand can be used not for accusation but for humor. There are things they are saying that are perfectly understandable on their own—Where’s the avocado?—but don’t make much sense for an outsider within the context of the conversation.
During dinner, Avery observes how shy Ryan becomes, how reactive. Avery is keenly aware of how ridiculous his family is, and he makes sure to fill Ryan in whenever what they are saying makes no sense. (“There was this deeply unfortunate period when I was eight when I wanted avocado on everything. Since avocados are not cheap, and are not something you just pick up at 7-Eleven, this was a royal pain for Mom and Dad. They’d give me a steak and I’d say, ‘Where’s the avocado?’ Or spaghetti. Or, I don’t know, a hot dog.”)
During dinner, Avery’s mother also observes how shy Ryan becomes, although she has much less to compare it to.
During dinner, Avery’s father tries to wrap his mind around the fact that Avery has brought a boyfriend home for them to meet. It feels like a big step, but since Avery isn’t acting like it’s a big step, his father tries to keep his pride to himself.
Outside, it continues to snow.
—
When dinner isover, Ryan stands to clear the table. Everyone else tells him he doesn’t have to, that he’s the guest. But he refuses their refusal, unable to explain to them that he feels he has to contribute in some way. Avery and his parentsback down, working Ryan into their routine of clearing and scraping and rinsing and drying. There are some hiccups (a spoon down the sink, a prolonged search for the Saran Wrap’s tongue), but for the most part, Ryan works in well. And in this way, he stops feeling like such a guest. In this way, he starts to feel like he belongs in this kitchen, with these people. They talk to each other instead of watching TV as they do the dishes. He answers questions when he is asked, but doesn’t have any questions he feels comfortable asking in return.
This changes when it goes back to being him and Avery, back to them alone. Avery’s mother and father beat their retreat—even though it isn’t even eight o’clock, they say they’re going to turn in. Probably watch a movie. Go to sleep early. Avery’s father jokes that he’ll be waking them up at dawn to help dig out the driveway. Ryan is ready to say that’s alright with him—it only seems fair to reciprocate the hospitality—but Avery, sensing this voluntary spirit, says, loudly, “No, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
Ryan would never talk to his father like that.
Avery’s father laughs.
“Alright, alright,” Avery’s mother says, shooing him out of the room. Then she turns to Avery and says, “I’ve put out towels for Ryan in the bathroom and sheets for the sofa in the family room—I mean,guest room.” Then she gets more thoughtful, and looks at them both in turn. “I’m right to trust you two, correct? Keep it PG. Maybe PG-13. You’re just getting to know each other and—”
“We know!” Avery is mortified. “PG-13!”
(For his part, Ryan wants to sink through the floor.)
“Okay,” Avery’s mother says. “We have an understanding.” She looks squarely at Ryan, who somehow manages to meet her eye. “Here’s the thing—I promised your mother that you would sleep in the guest room. So you have to sleep in the guest room.” Then she turns to Avery. “I did not, however, make any promises about whereyouwould sleep. Because I trust you both to…take it slow.”
“Mom! We get it!”
Avery’s mother smiles. “Good. And if you go outside, for heaven’s sake, wear boots.”
—
They do notgo outside at first. Instead they go to the family room, as if that’s what is expected of them. They sit on the couch and watch the Weather Channel on mute, face to face with the satellites’ rendering of the storm. Avery picks up the remote control and is about to ask Ryan what he wants to watch…but Ryan is already watching something: a photograph of Avery and his family at Disneyland, the summer before third grade. Avery is wearing Mickey Mouse ears and his expression is, frankly, goofy. He has no idea who took the photo, who allowed their molecular family to retain its formation—Avery the middle smile, bookended by his parents’.
“It’s so corny,” he says now. “I begged them to take it down, but they like to taunt me.”
“I like it,” Ryan says quietly. “It looks like you had fun.”
We learn each other by listening, and in this moment, Avery remembers that Ryan’s time at Disneyland wasn’t nearly as fun. He learns that the things that might be embarrassing to Avery might not be embarrassing to Ryan. He learns that while he doesn’t have to be careful with Ryan, he does have to try to avoid being careless.
