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12
***
DECLAN
One should not text an ex while drunk. Or tipsy. Or drinking, period. I wish I’d learn to take my own advice because not even an hour after I sent Kade that initial text, he’s picking me up from Isla and Bordeaux’s place.
Isla and Mia both stand on the edge of the sidewalk as I get into Kade’s matte black Mustang. It’s one of the sexiest cars I’ve ever seen. I’ve never thought of a car as sexy. But this car? It’s sexy.
“I still don’t think this is a very good idea, Dec,” Isla says under her breath as I close the door, the window down. She looks from me over to Kade and gives him a smile. “Hey, Kade. You going to keep our girl safe? She’s had a little bit to drink, so you’ll have to keep an eye on her.” Isla gives me her second warning look of the night, as if to say, I don’t trust this guy, and you need to sober yourself up so you don’t end up doing something stupid.
I look over at Kade as he laughs, one hand on the steering wheel, relaxed into the black leather driver’s seat. He’s got the same green eyes as Spence and Noelle, but he’s got his hair buzzed super short against his head. My next thought comes, unwanted.
It makes me think of the Fast and Furious movies, a sexy guy sitting behind the wheel of a fast car. I’m getting into the passenger seat, knowing it’s a stupid idea, but I’m doing it anyway—just like the women in those movies do. And while I may be slightly inebriated, I still know better.
Even though Kade did what he did, he’s still attractive. That’s not a switch you can just flip off. I wanted to punch him in the face when I saw him at Jaded. Seeing him again has brought up the memories of five years ago when I thought we would be going ring shopping but instead, he was on a plane, moving to a new state. He may be a prick, but I can’t deny that he’s a good-looking prick, always has been. It’s fucking annoying. My brain and my heart battle over my thoughts, and my stomach spins.
“I’ll take care of her, ladies.” Kade smiles slowly, the left side of his mouth inches higher than the right, and it’s just another one of those imperfections that makes him appealing.
What the fuck is wrong with my brain? Give me a bit of alcohol, and suddenly, any and all bad the dude did to me flies out the window? I’m thinking with my pussy. I need to get a hold of myself, or I’m going to go down a rabbit hole of bullshit and ruin myself all over again.
I wave goodbye to my friends, buckling my seat belt just as Kade steps down onto the accelerator, speeding off. The sheer force pushes me backward against the seat as Kade darts in and out of traffic, the engine roaring as he downshifts.
I glance over at him. He’s got one hand on the shifter and one on the steering wheel. Black jeans, T-shirt, and a bomber jacket with a silver chain necklace around his neck. He’s exactly how I remember him, aside from the buzzed hair. I wipe my palms against my jeans, growing clammy as I think about what the hell I’m doing. I vowed to never speak to this man again, and here I am, sitting in his car.
We slow down in front of a familiar spot—Wicker Park, where Kade and I used to frequent back when we were together. My stomach spins in time with a rush of lightheadedness I suddenly feel.
“I don’t think this was the best idea,” I say to him as he shifts the Mustang into park. My hand finds the seat belt resting on my chest, and I grasp it, trying to steady myself even though I’m already sitting. The world whirls as he looks over at me.
Kade gets out of the car, and my neck snaps up. I follow his movements as he walks around the front of the car, my pulse picking up when he opens my door and squats so he’s eye level with me. “Declan June,” he says, voice low and deep.
I refuse to look at him because now I know this was an awful idea. I should have listened to Isla as we rode the elevator away from the safety of her penthouse. The entire time she was trying to convince me to wait until I was sober to make the decision to hear Kade out. Unfortunately, once I get something in my mind, there’s no going back. I’m too damn stubborn.
“DJ.” Kane’s fingers find my knee and hesitantly brush up against my warm skin. My body is on fire from the combination of the alcohol and being in his presence after all these years. I hate him. I hate Kade Reid with a fucking passion.
“I fucking hate you.” The words come out as I turn to face him. I thought I was saying them inside my head at first, but then I realize—when his expression shifts, his soft smile falling—that I definitely said them out loud. “I fucking hate you!” I say again, this time a little bit louder because now that I’ve said it once, all bets are off.
“I know you do, DJ.” Kade’s voice is a whisper as he grips my knee. “And you should. You have every right to hate me.”
I push him off me and start to turn away but think better of it. I want to see his face when I say this. “It took you years to want to talk to me. Years, Kade. Do you know what you did to me when you left?” I let out an exasperated sigh, throwing my hand up and letting them slap down onto my legs. “I never wanted to even give you a fucking chance, but I did. I spent two years with you. Two years of my life, of my teenage years, when I could have been out doing other things, having fun and living. But no, I was with you. I was making plans with you. I was blowing off the band to see you whenever you called on me because I was a stupid, lovesick little girl,” I seethe, tears flowing. He makes a move to brush them away, but I swat his hand.
“Come on, don’t be like that. I’m sorry, DJ.” One of his hands finds the door as he steadies himself, still squatting next to me.
“Take me home.” I cross my arms over my chest. I’m done with this conversation, one I never should have goddamn agreed to in the first place.
“No.” The word comes out deep and husky.
My eyes find his again, narrowing as I search them. “What do you mean, no? Take me home right now, Kade Reid. I never should have sent you that text. Clearly, I’m fucked up in the head. You’re going to take me home right now, and we are going to pretend this never happened.”
Suddenly, Kade is reaching over me. His fingers push down on my safety belt, and it pops, reeling the belt away from me.
“What are you doing?” I ask him, reaching for the belt to secure it around my body again like it’s some form of protection against him.
My cheeks, once rosy and warm, are now on fire as my tears spill, one after another.
Kade grabs my hand and pulls me out of the car before I can get another word out. He’s forceful but not rough. Still, I’m pissed. “Get off of me,” I yell, yanking my hand back.
“Don’t make a damn scene, DJ. People are going to think I’m abducting you,” Kade says, his mouth so close to my ear that it sends a chill through my body. He stops once I’m out of the car, my body flush against his. “Just hear me out, okay? Hear me out, and then if you never want to talk to me again—” He stops and I look at him before clenching my eyes shut and shaking my head. “Declan, I know I’m five years too late with this conversation, but please… just listen, okay?”
