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“What a dump,” she mumbles, disgust thick in her voice. The heavy weight of the body half slumped over me shifts and is rolled away, followed by the thump of it hitting the floor.
“Ugh.” The mattress dips as she sits down beside me. Cool hands turn me onto my side. I recognize her from before, the vibrant auburn hair and piercing eyes still fresh in my memory.
I didn’t even notice I was crying until she cups my cheek and wipes my tears away with her thumb.
“Ssshhh.” She brushes the hair from my face. “Don’t cry. It’s over, you’re okay now.”
I don’t stop crying. My skin crawls with the memory of that man’s body against mine, his perfume clinging to me. I don’t understand what’s happening and I still can’t move.
The woman clicks her tongue and bends over me, hands sliding gently under my torso and head. Cold prickles over my skin as she lifts me.Magic.
I don't struggle as she pulls me onto her lap. All the fight has left me. Maybe whatever she's about to do will hurt less if I just let it happen. I close my eyes and try to pretend I'm somewhere else.
Only the feeling of an artery pulsing against my cheek, its heartbeat steady, brings me back to reality. That base, invasive part of me that I’ve been working so hard to suppress returns in full force.
My head is moved, turned so my lips touch her tender skin. Without so much as thinking I open my mouth and run my tongue over it, tasting her sweet perfume and feeling the rhythmic pulsing of her blood. My fangs are fully extended now, their sharp tips scraping my tongue.
Cool fingers run up my neck and into my hairline. Her breath is warm against my cheek when she says, “Drink.”
It’s not a question.
I shudder, the violent roil of my craving nearly blinding. Still, I hesitate, try to push back against it.I don’t want to have anyone on my conscience,I repeat to myself like a mantra.
Gently, she pushes my head forward, pressing my mouth into her skin, making me groan with hunger. “I won't offer again.”
3. AN INEBRIATED KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR
Nobody is this generous and whatever she wants in return, I don't have to give. I can feel in my bones that this will have consequences, that I should run. But of course, I can’t. And I no longer have the willpower to resist.
The skin of her throat bursts like an overripe peach under my teeth, implausibly delicate, hot blood welling up through the wound. Her grip tightens in my hair as I draw out the sanguine liquid.
It does not taste the way blood is supposed to taste. The usual overpowering tang of iron, something that would have made me gag as a human and still repulses some part of me, is barely noticeable through sweet and floral notes, like delicate honey.How?
I remember the tickle of magic as she lifted me and desperately urge myself to pull back, though there is no hope for that now. Many creatures have blood different from that of humans – ghouls, djinn, demons, gods and their descendants. I’m sure there are others. But only ichor, the blood of the gods, is said to taste sweet.She’s a witch.
It’s overpowering. Sensations return to my body with force, first sound, clearer and more resonant than before. After, I am slowly able to control my limbs again, my hands having already dug hungrily into her clothes. Her perfume has become infinitely more complex, a perfectly delicate dance of sweet and musky, woven through with the now distinguished scent of her skin.
My mind seems determined to play back the events of the night.Don’t worry, we’ll have fun.My fingertips pop through the fabric of her dress as if it were made of tissue paper. My back remembers the man’s touch, like a carbon copy, and the sensation just won’t go away.I should have insisted on having blood first. I knew I couldn’t trust Alastor. I should have never come here in the first place. How could I have been so stupid?
With a shudder, I lean harder into the blood rush, away from the downdraft of my thoughts, the choking fear of helplessness, and towards the part of me that is a predator, the part solely occupied by its need for blood.
When I open my eyes, the world explodes with color and detail. I can see every hair in the woman’s red curls, every ripple in the textured wallpaper, every spot of dust on the wooden floors. Her hair is of an exquisite shade, complex and deep. And she smells absolutely divine.
For one ragged breath, I manage to pull myself away, to breathe. My chest heaves as blood drips from my lips, and in the runnels making their way down her neck, I can see gold swirled through the red.Ichor.
“Venom.”It is not a question but an order. Her voice sounds like she is used to being obeyed without question.
Of course,I think. Vampire venom is a dangerous and unconventional way to get high, but popular nonetheless. There’s a risk, of course – consistent exposure over the long term forces your body into transition but if you don’t die, the changes are almost never permanent. And a little every now and then carries no risk, if you ignore that of becoming addicted. I have never injected someone before – mostly because I don’t feel like preying on the innocent.
I need to brace myself against the headboard behind her to stop myself from simply falling over her and drinking until she drops. “I’ve never done that before.” My voice is haggard as if I haven't spoken in days. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Her laughter is clear, sharp, and incontrovertibly condescending. “I’d like to see you try.”
Her reaction stokes something in me, an indignant burn that makes me sink my teeth back into her, harder this time. The headboard cracks under my grip. What the hell kind of blood is this? If I had this kind of power earlier… My mind, consumed by the animal – the vampire – in me, spirals into violent fantasies.
Horrified, I shrink back from the thoughts. It’s not the first time I’ve frightened myself. After Casey turned me, for a while, there was nothing but violence on my mind. Sometimes, I’m sure it’s the vampire part of me, sometimes I wonder if those thoughts were there all along but I just never admitted it to myself.
I release my venom with a sense of defiance. To my surprise, it feels oddly gratifying, enough to make me groan quietly.
