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I stuck my fingers in my ears. “La, la, la, la. I don’t need to hear about my brother’s sex life.”
Sean laughed and ruffled my hair like he used to do when we were kids. “I’ll see you later.”
I was still smiling when I sat at the piano and started to play. Although I could play classical music fairly well, I preferred to play music I could sing to. I started down my old playlist of songs, trying not to be too loud with my singing. After finishing “The Words” by Christina Perri, I realized I was trending toward melancholy love songs. Yeah, I wished Marco would use his words. So, of course, I started playing “Say Something” by A Great Big World.
By the time I ended the song, my voice was barely above a whisper and tears were running down my cheeks. “Damn it, Marco,” I whispered.
“Liam.”
I started and whipped my head around. “Marco?” I hurriedly wiped my eyes with my shirt sleeve. “What are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?”
Marco’s eyes were shiny, and it looked like he was holding back tears. “I went to your place first. I wanted to talk to you. When you didn’t answer, I was trying to decide what to do when I ran into Sean. He, uh, tore a strip off me and gave me the shovel talk. Then he told me where you were.” He swallowed hard. “I was hoping you’d want to talk to me, even after…everything.”
35
Marco
I wished I could have taken a picture of the look on Liam’s face when I asked that question. It transformed from sadness to pure joy in seconds. He blinked away his remaining tears and wiped his face again. “I would like that a lot.” He looked around the dining room, noticing the staff getting the room ready for lunch, and said, “Let’s go to Sean’s office. We’ll have more privacy.”
I followed him out of the dining room, through the bar area, and down the back hallway to his brother’s office. I couldn’t believe how much I missed him after only a few days. We’d been apart longer than that when I’d gone on extraction missions, but we were still in communication with each other. He would send me snarky texts or funny memes, and I would pretend I wasn’t eagerly anticipating every one of them. The silence from him had been excruciating.
Part of me didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to grab him and hold him and never let go. But I knew I had to talk to him, especially judging by the songs he’d been playing when I walked into the dining room. I got the message loud and clear.
Liam unlocked the door to Sean’s office and ushered me inside. He closed and locked it behind him. He gestured to the two chairs in front of the large wooden desk and said, “We can sit here or over there on the sofa.”
“Here is good,” I said.
He angled the chairs so we could face each other and then took the chair farther from the door. I was about to take the other chair when I spotted the picture on Sean’s desk. I picked it up, remembering the first time I’d seen it while helping with security at Jeremy’s best friend’s wedding. I smiled at the image of Liam with a broad grin, standing with his brother and the old guy who used to own Moonlight Inn. “You know,” I said, “When I saw this picture of you the first time, I asked your brother who the cutie was.”
Liam rolled his eyes. “Oh lord. I’ll bet he got all growly and big brotherly.”
I shrugged. “Kinda. When he said you were over in Syria, well really, Lebanon, I think I scared him by saying civilians should stay out of war zones.”
“You weren’t wrong,” he replied quietly.
I sat with the picture still in my hand. “You were needed.” I looked at the picture again before setting it back on the desk. “You know, I thought about you a lot after that. I mean, before we had to go rescue you. That smile of yours stayed with me for some reason.” I glanced at my hands before looking back up at him. “I missed that smile when it was gone,” I said hoarsely.
Liam put one of his hands over mine. “I missed you too. So much. But we have to talk about what happened. I can’t just push it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. “I know. I want to tell you first that I didn’t follow through with the hookup. I couldn’t do it. It made me feel sick just thinking about it.”
His hand squeezed mine. “That’s good to know. I appreciate you telling me. But why did you feel like you needed to do it in the first place? And why advertise it to me the way you did?”
“The short answer is, I was scared,” I said.
“And what’s the long answer?”
I looked Liam in the eyes. “Before I answer that, I want to say I’m so sorry for what I did. It was fucked up beyond reason, and even though I know why I did it, it’s not an excuse. I only hope you can forgive me.”
He squeezed my hand again. “I appreciate your apology. I want to forgive you, but I also want to understand why you did it.”
I nodded. My hands clenched into fists on my lap. I took a slow breath in and let it out even more slowly. “You know that Terry and I were engaged, and you know he died.”
Liam nodded. “I should tell you that Tony told me Terry died by suicide. He didn’t elaborate on how or why. I think he wanted me to understand there was more to what you did than you just being an asshole.”
I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh, cry, or punch my brother. “Speaking of overprotective brothers…”
Liam shrugged. “He loves you, and he knew you were hurting.”
