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‘Why not?’
‘I’m… I’m too ashamed.’
‘You have nothing to be ashamed of! Suzie, I’ve told you a thousand times,it wasn’t your fault!Why can’t you believe that? Anyone in your position would have done the same; I would, Mum would, and Annoying Adam certainly would. Remember what Mum always used to tell us? A problem shared is a problem halved. I don’t know why you insist on carrying this burden around with you, hugging it greedily to your chest, allowing it to squeeze the enjoyment out of everything that’s good in your life.’
It was the first time her sister had berated her, even gently, and Suzie was shocked, but she could see things from Amber’s perspective. On the rare occasions when she was able to look at the situation from the point of view of a neutral bystander, she agreed with every word her sister had just said. It wasn’t as though she hadn’ttriedto move on – she had, really hard – it was just that nothing she did could eradicate the ever-present feeling of guilt that smouldered in her chest. It had become a part of who she was.
Was Amber right?
If she shared her story – the whole story, not just the bare facts – with someone who had not been directly involved, or who hadn’t read any of the sensationally embroidered news articles that had been written about her, would that help? Would the leaden weight in her chest ease sufficiently enough to allow her to take the first steps towards a new future?
‘Talk to him, Suzie,’ said Amber, her voice gentle and filled with compassion. ‘From what you’ve told me about him, he sounds like a decent guy.’
‘I’ll… I’ll think about it.’
‘Good. Okay, I’ve got to go. Love you.’
‘Love you, too.’
The moment she disconnected the call there was a loud knock on the door and even though talking to her sister had calmed her swirling emotions, her heart still gave a jolt of alarm. She tried to peer out of the patio window, but she couldn’t see who the visitor was. She briefly contemplated hiding behind the sofa, hoping they would think she wasn’t in and go away, until there was another, much more insistent, knock.
‘Suzie? It’s Christos. Are you in there?’
She opened the door to find him standing on her doorstep, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, elbows flapping nervously at his waist, guilt scrawled across his features. She invited him in, grabbed a couple of cold beers from the fridge, and suggested they sat on the balcony.
‘I’m so sorry, Suzie. I should have told you.’
‘You should have… What do you mean? Told me what?’
A thunderbolt of shock hit her square in the chest. Washethe anonymous travel vlogger? Hadheuploaded the video? But she realised immediately how ridiculous that was. How could it be Christos when he had been the vlog’s star?
Chapter Twenty One
‘Oh God, it’s all my fault!’
Christos’ demeanour was uncharacteristically agitated; he was clearly distressed, his hand trembling as he lifted the bottle of beer she had given him to his lips and took a long gulp.
‘I’m sorry, Christos, I don’t know what…’
‘I’ve just bumped into Heidi, and she told me about the vlog.’
‘Yes, I—’
‘I can see how upset you are, and I should never have got you involved. This is the last thing I wanted to happen! It’s the reason I’ve been keeping a low profile while I’ve been on Santorini. Giorgos’ Greek dance class was the first time I’ve socialised with a larger group of people since the beginning of summer, and I should have known what would happen.’
Suzie stared at Christos, completely bewildered, her recent anxieties retreating to second place as she tried to figure out what was going on.
‘Christos, I really don’t—’
‘I’m a musician.’
‘Ok…ay.’
‘In a band.’
‘Right…’
‘Quite a successful band. One that fills stadiums in Athens, Thessaloniki, and Crete.’
