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Scott whistled through his teeth again after I told him. I waited for him to follow up the sound of incredulity with words.
“Yeah, that’s a fuck up,” he finally said. “Why didn’t you tell her right away?”
“Because I wanted to win,” I said. The facts were pretty simple… and right now, saying it, they sounded pretty stupid. “I figured that if I didn’t tell her, she wouldn’t do what needed to be done to get the contract and I’d get it.”
“I didn’t figure you to be someone who played dirty to win the prize,” Scott said.
That made my stomach twist. Putting it that way made me sound even more pathetic.
“I just didn’t want to lose the contract,” I said. “The business is everything.”
“Why?” Scott asked.
I frowned at him. “You of all people should understand. I mean, look at what you’re doing?”
“What am I doing?” Scott asked, confused.
“You’re working your ass off as a doctor so that other kids don’t die, so that what happened to Jake…” My voice caught in my throat, and I swallowed hard. “You’re doing the same thing.”
“Oh, no, that’s not the same thing at all,” Scott said, shifting himself in the boat so he sat up straighter. The boat rocked because of it, and I shifted to balance out the weight.
“Why not?” I asked. “You’re always busy. You don’t have time for anything or anyone else… that’s exactly the same.”
“You don’t get it,” Scott said. “I don’t have anyone else to make timefor. It’s just me, and as long as it’s just me, then work comes first. If I find someone who really fits into my life, someone I’m serious about, best know that I won’t keep putting my job first. What happened to Jake fucking sucked, okay? It hurts me a lot all the time, too. But screwing it up with Mackenzie will just mean you lose her in the end, too. That doesn’t seem like whatever you think you’re trying to do is worth it all.”
I stared at my brother. “What the fuck, man?” I was getting angry. How could he tell me that I was making a mess of it? How could he tell me I was screwing things up, going about it the wrong way… He was right, obviously, but that just made it worse! How dare he be right!?
Scott just pinned me with a hard stare without defending his stance before, damn it… my brother was right, and he knew it. I knew it, too. That was what pissed me off so much.
“Do you want to know what I think?” Scott asked.
I shook my head. “Actually, no.” It was just going to be more wisdom that made me look and feel like shit because what he was saying made so much sense it irritated me on a whole new level.
“You should talk to her as soon as you can and tell her what’s going on.”
I glared at Scott. “I saidno.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve never listened to you,” Scott said with a chuckle. “I’m serious, though. If you’re serious about her, and it sounds like you might actually be, then do something.”
I scowled.
“You’re a great businessman, Troy,” Scott said. “You’ve built that company up from scratch, and you get almost all the contracts you shoot for.” He grinned at me when he said that, putting emphasis on the worldalmostjust for good measure. “But business isn’t everything. In the end, if you stand to lose the big things in your life, the business should be the first thing you let go of, not the people who are there for you.”
I shook my head. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Yeah, maybe you should have kept it quiet, and I wouldn’t have known anything about this game you’re playing, but—”
“It’s not a fuckinggame,” I snapped.
“Isn’t it?” Scott asked. “Because if it’s not… why does it look like you’re about to lose?”
Fuck! He was right. Scott was always right. I hated that he was, and he always did it in such an easy way because Scott was always straightforward and to the point without rubbing my face in it. He was just… right.
About all of it.
And that meant that I was screwing this up. Not that I didn’t already know it, but a part of me had hoped that Scott would agree with me that the business was more important than Mackenzie, that I was somehow justified in what I was doing. Of course, I’d known all along that wasn’t the case. If I’d thought what I was doing was right, I wouldn’t have felt so damn guilty all the time.
“Fine,” I finally said, letting out a breath so that my cheeks billowed. “I’ll talk to her, but I can tell you now, she’ll be pretty pissed.”
