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Charlie takes my other hand and runs his thumbs over my knuckles, but still, his touch doesn't affect me.
“You can have a different life if you want one, Blaire,” he says, his eyes glowing with desperation. “If youwant tostay with me, you can, and you won't ever,EVER!have to fight or kill to please Maksim again.”
The ringing in my ears intensifies. I start blinking really fast, trying to get rid of that annoying sound.
“Blaire?” Charlie whispers. “Blaire, what is it?”
Snatching out of his grasps, I pace my room, raking my fingers through my waist length hair.
If youwant tostay with me, you can,Charlie just said, like he's god or something.
Maksim told me to complete my jobs and come home. That's what I have to do. I know it. Deep down, I know it. But, why is something in the back of my mind telling me to choose Charlie?
I feel all jumbled up inside, my ears ringing and my head is pounding.
“Blaire,” Charlie says, “stay with me. Don't go back to-”
“You think you can offer to keep me and I'll leap into your arms?” I say through gritted teeth, cutting him off. “You think you can take me away from Maksim?”
“You've enjoyed being here,” he says with caution, “being able to live... being able to feel... feel alive... Why wouldn't you want that?”
“Yes, I have enjoyed the past weeks,” I say hopelessly, “but I cannot stay with you in this soap commercial life.”
“Why can't you?”
“Because I'm wired wrong!” I yell, pointing at my head. “And I can't do anything to change it. I-I want to please Maksim—he's my master. He's all I know.”
“You've barely mentioned him over the past two months,” Charlie says frankly. “He can't mean that much to you.”
“It's you!” I pull my hair, needing to feel pain, pacing faster now. “I did forget, but now... now you've put him in my head with just saying his name... I can't... Fuck!” I stop dead in the middle of my bedroom. “I can't think about anything but him!”
“You can learn to be different.” Charlie closes the space between us. “You can change the way you think.”
“Ohhh, because it's so easy, isn't it?” I cannot keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I go around the room again, holding my head. “I wish you didn't bring him up. I wish you wouldn't talk about him. You make me think of my orders.”
“I'm trying to help you.”
“That's a lofty goal,” I scoff.
“Don't you dare be snarky with me.” His eyes narrow. “Not now.”
“Ugh... Charlie,” I sigh his name, rubbing my temples. “You just don't get it.”
“Tell me then.” He reaches out to me like he's praying or something. “Make me understand. I'm here... I'm listening...”
A while passes where I don't know what to say, then it spills out of me. I ramble on about who I was and who I am now. “I've never even spoken to someone the way I speak to you—and I probably won't ever again. I wouldn't dream of it. But you... you make me feel... Everything goes out the window with you!” I wave out angrily. “You're going to get me in trouble because when I go back to Maksim, I won't be the same and he'll torture me for it.”
“Then don't go back to him,” Charlie says. “Come and live with me in Mexico.”
“What?” My face screws up. “I can't decide that.” The penny drops, and I stop pacing again. “Is this why you keep asking me questions about living in Mexico? Are you trying to take me from Maksim?”
“No. I want you to decide for yourself.”
“You know I can't do that.” I clench my teeth, trying to keep it together but I can feel my cool slowly slipping away. “I do care about you, Charlie, that's obvious, but the fact is, I belong to Maksim, and nothing you say or do can change that.”
“You can decide for yourself,” Charlie says. “I don't give a shit about how ruthless and brainwashing Maksim is, you'd rip him apart and you damn well know it.”
“I can't hit him.”
