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What the fuck have I just indulged in?
I feel sick.
“You all right?” Charlie says in puffs of breath, kissing the side of my damp face.
I don't say anything. I can't. I feel strange in my own skin.
Pressing into his chest with both hands, in time with shakily standing, I force him out of me.
“Hey,” Charlie tries to stop me. “Hey, careful.”
“Awh,” I wince, slapping his hands away. It fucking hurts, my muscles resisting the corrupt withdrawal. I drop back onto the bed with a loud huff of relief, roll over and curl into a small ball.
No. I don't feel sick. I am sick. One sick motherfucker for enjoying that.
A hand touches my hip. “Blaire?”
“Please go away,” I say, staring into nothingness. “You’ve got what you wanted.”
Anything good I felt is gone now, and anything I could feel, I'm blocking it.
Charlie exhales a sharp breath and the room goes dark. There’s a burning wax scent in the air now.
“Blaire, I'm leaving,” he says, and I feel the weight of a blanket covering my body, up to my chin. “Do you want anything before I go, like a glass of water?”
Don't think. Don't think. Don't think.
Refusing to answer him, I shut my eyes, desperate for the night to take me.
11
When I wake up the next morning, everything is fresh in my mind, and I'm fuming.
I untangle myself from the blanket wrapped around me like a snake and roll over onto my back, arching with a breathless moan. My ass is a little sore and my hips feel like they've been banged so hard they ache. Finger print bruises on my back where my ribs are, and parts of my neck feel like a vacuum has had its way with me.
Charlie's mouth. That sexually warped bastard.
Trying not to tense up with anger, I take deep, balanced breaths, but with every inhale I can smell cleaning polish. It's orange and citrusy. It reminds me of when my car has been cleaned.
My car...
Home...
Maksim...
James...
Just thinking about it all makes me so... I have no words.
I cannot believe Maksim gave Charlie permission to dothatto me. I cannot believe he let that motherfucker drug me when all he had to do was tell me my orders and I would have followed suit. How could he barter me in this sexually violating way? How could he do this to me...me!his most trusted devotee?
Seething and on the verge of pitiful tears, I stuff the blanket in my mouth and scream so hard that I can feel my throat being ripped to shreds.
I'm shaking, too.
I could kill someone.
I'm so glad Charlie isn't here because right now, I might do something I'll live to regret, especially when I think back on last night... about what he did to me... the things he made me feel...
