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“Nah.”
“Yes. We’re going to make your condo feel like home to you because you deserve that much. Look, you’ve been so good to me, let me repay you by pulling something together for you. I’d enjoy it, and once we’re finished, so will you.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m positive.” It felt like the least she could do for him.
That afternoon they went over to look at his condo, and Sophia had to admit that it was tragically dull. “First thing, we pick out colors,” she told him. She dug her fan deck out of her purse and put it on the breakfast bar. “This is one of my most prized possessions. Pick out colors you like.”
“I don’t know,” he said as he made a pot of coffee.”
“All right then, we’ll start with blues. Everyone likes blue.”
But it was like pulling teeth until she got him to commit to one beautiful shade of teal, a rich, dark blue-green that made him smile. “I can work with this,” she told him.
They went out and picked up a few gallons of paint, and by dinner time, the living room was a beautiful semi-gloss peacock color.
“I don’t know about this,” he said, looking around.
“That’s because we’ve only just started. Tomorrow we buy drapes, lamps, a rug, and some chairs. Your sofa is fine.” It was a dark chocolate leather. Sophia wondered why men liked leather furniture so much, but at least it was a good color.
Once she’d begun to add in the other colors — orange-red, gold, dark brown — Daniel began to get the feel of the process, and started to pick out things he liked. He found a beautiful stained glass table lamp in shades of blue green and amber, and picked out a red-lacquered chest that worked as an end table.
The process took several weeks, during which time, Daniel took a lively interest in the way the room was starting to look. He even cadged a few antique pieces out of his parents and moved things around to accommodate them. He proved to have a good eye, and she complimented him on it every day.
And at night, they slept in his builders’ white bedroom, learning each other in ways Sophia had never imagined she could know another human being. Nothing was ever said about the future, but for the present, things were good, better than she’d ever thought they could be.
She told herself this was temporary, that they were enjoying each other’s company, but in the end, she and Daniel belonged to different worlds. One day they would simply stop being lovers. Perhaps they would stay friends, she hoped that would be the case, but if they didn’t, she knew she’d always remember this time as a happy one.
She was seeing Doctor Forster on a regular basis, and the specter of Phil was beginning to lose some of its power over her. She learned that she was far from alone in all this, that lots of people had controlling partners or stalkers, or abusers, but that there was help available. She began to sort out all the lies he’d told her, and eventually she began to understand that she was actually worthy of being loved by someone good and honest.
She wished it could be Daniel, but knew that if she put too much hope into their relationship, when it went south she would be devastated.
They had finished decorating the bathroom in the condo; Sophia had allowed her sense of whimsy to guide here there, and with Daniel’s permission she decorated the tub and walls with flat-backed glass stones in blues and greens, and painted the walls a beautiful ultramarine blue. It made the room dark, but she covered every inch of available space with remote-controlled candles so with one click of the remote, the room was filled with warm, golden light.
Bathing in there together was a delight, soaking in the hot water, listening to music on the bluetooth speakers she installed.
She had just begun to pick out the colors and the tile for the kitchen remodel when her hard-won peace of mind was shattered. She arrived at the condo one afternoon to find Phil waiting for her in the vestibule.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded. “You’re not welcome.”
“I know that, but I can’t let that stop me from warning you.”
“You have nothing to say to me.” She tried to push past him but he grabbed her arm.
“He’s using you, Sophie. Guys like that can have any woman in the world, beautiful, talented women. What do you think he wants you for?”
“Let go of me. I mean it.” She tried to sound firm, but inside the tiny voice of her insecurity was starting to whisper to her and she knew she had to make the right choice or all her hard work would be for nothing.
“You’re temporary. You’re just for bed while he goes about his business.”
“Stop that. You’re vile.”
“What do you think he could possibly see in you? I love you, so it doesn’t matter to me that you’re dull and not really beautiful. It’s what’s inside that counts with me. He’s laughing at you, Sophie.”
She stared at him, at his face, contorted and ugly with rage and jealousy, and spoke the truth, knowing that it might cost her dearly. “You don’t love me. You never did. You just want someone you can control.”
“I do. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. Sophie, come back to me. I’ll do better. I swear I will”
