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I took a few breaths, and when Spencer still didn’t say anything, I kept going. “You don’t want to have sex with me, and three weeks ago you thought you hated me, so I’m sure dating me isn’t high on your to-do list, but even if it was, I’m afraid of screwing it up or my issues getting in the way or not being good at it. Oh my God, what if I suck at it, but more than that, I’m freaked out that it’ll ruin our friendship, and I can’t do that. I’m sure you can’t either. You would be lost without me and—fuck!” Pain shot through my toe when I stubbed it on the coffee table. “I just broke my fucking toe!” I plopped down on Spencer’s couch, my eyes drifting closed. “And I’m tired…so fucking tired. I’m not used to sleeping alone anymore. How did I get used to sleeping with you so quickly?”
I heard movement before the couch dipped under Spencer’s weight. He grabbed my foot, tugged my sock off, then started examining my toe.
I opened my eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Making sure your toe is okay first, which it is. I don’t think it’s broken.”
He brushed his thumb back and forth over it, leaned forward, and kissed my fucking foot—which was way more swoony than it should be—then lowered it to the floor again. “Second, I do want to have sex with you. I told you that. And our friendship will only get ruined if we let it. We’re in control here, Corb. We can make sure we’re keeping our friendship and CB relationship a priority. And third…I might want to date you too.”
I’d perked up at everything he’d said but nearly jolted out of the seat at that. “Might?”
“Oh, so it’s okay for you to say might but not me?”
“I take it back. There’s no might. I want to date you.”
He smiled. “I want to date you too. But that means you’re mine while we’re together. I’m not sharing you.”
“Fucking swoon. Yes, let’s do that. Who knew dating was so hot?”
Spencer laughed, and God, I loved being able to make him do that.
“I’m serious about the friendship thing, though. That’s important to me too. I don’t want to lose that, so if we’re having second thoughts or if we’re unsure about something, we need to talk about it.”
“Done.” Because Spencer wanted to date me. I might not be DJ, the guy he’d been in love with—and maybe still was—but I was something.
“Also, I need to make sure you know it’s because I like you, who you are inside. I mean, you’re gorgeous too, but you’re more than that. I’m dating you and will be having sex with you because I like you. You’re more than a fuck to me. I would want you even if you weren’t as beautiful as you are.”
No one had ever said that to me before. When I was younger, no one wanted me because of how I looked, and now as an adult, it was the only reason people did. “Okay.”
“Do you believe me?”
“Probably not, but I’ll try.” It was the best I could do.
“It’s a start. I’ll have to do everything in my power to convince you. If we’re going to do this, I need to make sure we’re on the same page. DJ…”
“I would never do that.”
“Okay, but just like you have to try to believe me on why I want you, it’s similar for me. I never thought he would just walk away. It still messes with my head. Why was I so easy to walk away from?”
“I would never do that.”
“Good, now I really need to kiss you. I’ve wondered what you taste like since I was eighteen years old,” Spencer said before leaning in and pressing his mouth to mine.
My whole world exploded. I moaned before he even lashed his tongue against my lips. When he did, I opened up for him, needing him inside. Spencer wanted me, and he said it was for me. This person who made me feel safe the way only the Beach Bums ever had, he wanted me and was dating me and now was kissing me. He needed to shave, but his stubble scratched against my face in the most delicious way, making me crave him even more.
I climbed into Spencer’s lap, straddling him. My dick was already achingly hard. It had been weeks since I’d been with anyone—even before that night at the fundraiser where I’d spoken to Spencer—and that wasn’t something my body was used to.
“Please,” I begged, kissing my way down Spencer’s throat, wanting his arms around me because I loved the way it felt to be enveloped by him, but I wanted his dick inside me too—not only to feel that connection, or because I loved sex, but to know he wasn’t lying and he really did want me.
