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“Please what?” Spencer held my chin gently, turning my head so I looked at him.
I grinned. “Please let me ride your dick…or I can fuck you. Either way. I just want to be with my… Okay, I was trying to think of a new name since we’re dating now, but you’re still my CB.”
Something in his expression softened. I didn’t know how to word it other than that. “Jesus, you’re so fucking special.” He held my face again, brushing his big thumb over my cheek like he wanted to treasure me. It was another way no one had treated me before.
“Clearly,” I teased, heart thudding.
“I’m being serious. Don’t make a joke out of it.”
“Okay.” My chest squeezed in an unfamiliar way.
“And I don’t know if we should have sex…not because I don’t want you. I want you so fucking much, it’s killing me, but—”
“I know you want me for more than how I look. I feel it. I can’t always believe it, but I need you, and I promise you’ll love it. I’m very, very good.” I kissed the corner of his mouth. “I don’t want you to do something you don’t want, but if you’re holding back because you think it’s better for me or will show me you want me for more than sex, that’s not going to work. Right now, I just want to know what it’s like to be with someone who makes me feel good on the inside. If you expect me to believe you on what you want and how you feel, then you should believe me too.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Spencer
“I just want to know what it’s like to be with someone who makes me feel good on the inside. If you expect me to believe you on what you want and how you feel, then you should believe me too.”
How in the hell did I say no to that logic? To his honesty. Not that I wanted to. My dick had probably never been so hard. I wanted Corbin. I’d always wanted Corbin, but doing right by him was just as important.
To do that, however, I also had to trust him. I didn’t have all the answers. He didn’t have all the answers. We had to have faith in each other. Still, I said, “We do this my way.”
“As long as there’s no cock cages involved.” He winked.
“Why do I feel like there’s a story there?”
“Because you know me.”
I did. “Did you have dinner?”
He frowned. “Weird time to ask. Are we having sex with food?”
I chuckled. “Answer the question.”
“No.”
“Okay, we’re going to go to my bed, where I’m going to show you how much I want you, and you’re going to let me. And then I’m going to feed you, and you’re going to let me do that too. And when we’re done, I’m going to hold you all night because all parts of you intrigue me, and while we might have started this cuddle thing for you, it gives me something too.”
Corbin smiled, all straight teeth, a big toothpaste-commercial smile. I didn’t understand how he could come off as so confident and over-the-top when really, he was lost. He didn’t see all the incredible things about himself, instead only focusing on what was on the outside.
“Let’s get to it.” He jumped off my lap, grabbed my hand, and pulled me to my feet.
“Excited, are you?” I joked as we made our way to my room.
“I really love sex. I think I’ve said that before.”
“So, it’s just sex? Not because it’s with me?” I knew what he’d said earlier, and I believed him, but I could also tell that Corbin was trying to straddle the line of keeping this fun and light while being honest and real, so I wanted to do the same.
“It’s you,” he said. “I’ve basically wanted to kiss you for about seventeen years?”
I laughed. “Let’s not go overboard. You probably wanted to kiss someone that night, and I was the one who leaned in. I’m sure you forgot me over the years.”
“I’m sure you forgot me too until you saw me again, but we’re here now, and that has to mean something.”
Yeah, yeah it did. I wasn’t the kind of guy who usually believed in shit like that, but that was before Corbin came back into my life. Everything changed then.
“Are you gonna start showing me how much you want me now?” he asked, making my dick throb.
“Yes, I am.” I stepped closer, pulled Corbin into my arms, and damned if I didn’t feel him relax into me. I took his mouth again, slipped my tongue inside. He tasted like mint and something I didn’t know how to describe other than sunshine.
He kissed me back hungrily, arms around me, then grabbed my ass. He’d seen me in my underwear, of course, and as comfortable as I was in my body, I couldn’t help wondering if he would still be as attracted to me when I was naked. If his insecurities in his own body would come out in how he responded to mine. So far, the hard length of his erection indicated that wouldn’t be a problem, but you never knew. It had happened before. I wasn’t proud of it, but I also couldn’t help remembering how he’d responded when the guys in college had seen me try to kiss him.
