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“How about I leave you two to talk?” Rome said. His dark eyes connected with mine, and I felt him telling me that he would be right outside of the door. One thing that I appreciated about Rome was that he was a good father. He’d made it clear that he would sacrifice a great deal for his son, and I suspected that that was the reason he hadn’t immediately run to my father when he figured out who I was.
My father and I looked silently at one another as Rome left the room. Neither of us knew what to say. My father was fully shocked to see me alive and standing before him, and I was too emotionally wrought to say anything.
“You changed your hair,” he said.
I touched my darker locks. They’d grown out so now my hair was almost a dusty blonde color.
“I needed a change.” It was the only thing that I could say.
My father nodded. His entire body was stiff, and I worried that a strong wind would snap him in half.
“You look thinner.”
This time I stiffened. My entire life my father had commented on my appearance. I needed to be perfect for Nikolai Petrov. If he had liked redheads, my father would have had me dye my hair. I’d had to be thin, but not so thin that I looked unhealthy. Making myself the perfect partner had exhausted me. As I ran my hands self-consciously down the front of my suit, those feelings of unhappiness from my childhood started to creep inside my mind, and I wondered if Ezra liked the way I looked. He’d never said anything otherwise, but I wondered if he thought I was too thin, or not thin enough.
My father must have known I was upset. He walked towards me, his hands outstretched, and I backed away. It was more of a habit than anything else, but I could see the hurt on his face from my actions.
“I’m sorry,” he said, backing up immediately.
I wrapped my arms around myself, attempting to provide comfort to my frayed nerves. Though I knew that Ezra wouldn’t be happy to know who my father really was, I couldn’t help but wish that he was here with me. I needed his comfort.
“Why don’t we have a seat,” my father said, gesturing toward the couch. I nodded and took a seat on the chair that I’d vacated, moving it so that it looked at my father.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I didn’t really know how to answer that question. “I’m fine,” I said. In some ways, I was better than ever, but in other ways, I was still struggling. Sitting across from my father was one of those struggles.
“Are you alright?” I asked. I couldn’t help but categorize the ways in which my father had changed. He didn’t look like the man I had known.
He chuckled and ran a hand through his gray hair. “Honestly,” he said. “I’ve been unwell.” It hurt my heart to hear that. Despite my anger, he was still my father – the only parent that I had left. “Every day since you’ve been gone…” he trailed off, as though he were struggling to find the words. “It’s been hell.”
I didn’t know how to respond to the raw pain in his voice. I’d never seen my father so vulnerable.
“Where have you been?” he asked.
I stiffened. I knew that this question was coming, and I planned to answer it honestly, but it still made my stomach turn slightly. I didn’t know how my father was going to handle knowing that I’d been just miles away from him for the past year.
“I’ve been in the city,” I said.
“What?”
I shrugged. There wasn’t much else to say.
“I thought you were dead. Nikolai…” he trailed off, as though he couldn’t wrap his mind around what I was saying.
“Nikolai probably thinks that I’m dead.” At first, I’d been too scared to reveal myself because of Nikolai and Katarina. I’d been so fearful in the first few months that I’d been scared of my own shadow. It had taken nearly six months just to Google the two of them.
“So, he did shoot you?”
A chill ran down my spine as I remembered that night. In some ways, parts of me never left that frozen forest as much as I tried to stay away from it. “He did. Katarina wanted me dead. I was starting to question their plans. Apparently, your lessons didn’t stick so well.” I couldn’t stop the bitterness that seeped into my voice.
“What is that supposed to mean? I didn’t know what Katarina was up to.”
I didn’t know if I believed that, but I let it go. My father would never admit to helping Katarina. The Bratva had been pulled apart by the infighting, and if the men knew that my father had helped, they would be lining up to take over.
“You are the reason that I was even with Nikolai in the first place.”
My father looked like he wanted to argue, but something in my face must have caused him to stop.
