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“My whole life you taught me that I was only worthy of love if I was getting something for the family out of it. You molded me into exactly what you thought Nikolai would want, so when he came calling, when he came to me for help, I didn’t have the good sense to turn him away. Even when I watched him shoot up a wedding full of innocent people, including his sister, I didn’t have the good sense to walk away!” By the end I was screaming, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was so angry. So very angry at all the things that I’d lost in my life because of the family I’d been born into.
“Anastasia...”
“It’s Annie,” I snapped. “I go by Annie now.”
My father’s face softened. Annie was what my nanny had called me. She’d been the most wonderful woman. Warm and kind. She had wanted me to be more than what my father had in store for me.
I felt my eyes filling with tears as I thought about her. “Nikolai took me out in the woods that night. I’m guessing because Katarina didn’t want any witnesses to her crimes. And he shot me.” I felt as though I was detached from the words as I spoke to them. “But it was dark, and he missed. Caught me in the shoulder instead.”
“I doubt he missed by accident.”
I shook my head. I’d thought about that for months, but I realized that the idea that Nikolai had missed to spare my life was a false one. It was the hope that I hadn’t wasted parts of my life on someone who had been so dark and twisted. “Nikolai wanted me dead,” I told my father. “You didn’t see him that night.”
My father’s eyes roamed over me, and I could see that he was looking at me to see if there were any injuries. Even now, it pained me to think that he didn’t believe me, even after all of this time.
I released a sigh. “Nikolai wasn’t the man that you had known.” I shivered as I remembered how he had been. Nikolai had never been cruel to me. He’d demeaned me. He hadn’t appreciated me, but he hadn’t thought that I was worthy of much. I didn’t realize that until I was with Ezra, who seemed to see value in everything that I did. I smiled as I thought about him.
“I’m sorry,” my father said, his voice soft. “If I had known…”
“You would have encouraged me to do exactly what I did. Try my best to please him.” The words were emotionless as I spoke. I couldn’t think about the things I’d done with Nikolai or allowed him to do to me. If I did, I don’t think I would be able to come back from the darkness that would engulf me.
“I wouldn’t have sacrificed you at the altar of the Petrov’s,” my father bit out.
His words made me laugh. “You did my whole life. You wanted power, and you were willing to use me to get it. Ironically, you ended up with it on your own.” I gestured towards him. “I’ve heard that you’ve been made Pakhan.”
He shifted uncomfortably, unable to deny my words. “The Bratva was in ruins after Isaac’s death.”
I nodded, not caring, but allowing him to talk.
“It was a mess before his death,” he reasoned. “It’s why Katarina was able to make so much headway.”
“You aren’t wrong,” I told him. “The men had been unhappy for years. They were tired of dying at the hands of the Blanchi’s, and when Isaac announced that Sasha would be marrying into the family…” I released a low whistle as I remembered the upset among my father’s men when the marriage was announced. I remembered my fear. The Blanchi’s had always seemed like the enemy.
Like Sasha, I learned the hard way that the enemy was my own family.
“Which is why I’ve been trying to broker peace with the Blanchis…there’s been too much pain. Too much death.”
“The Blanchi’s had nothing to do with what happened to me,” I reminded him. “They aren’t the reason I had to walk miles in the snow to get help.”
My father’s throat bobbed as he swallowed heavily. It was clear that my words had affected him deeply.
I sighed. “I didn’t have Rome call you to do this.”
“Why did you have him call me? I had no idea that you were alive…” I knew that he had a lot of questions. Ones that I wasn’t sure I could even answer. I’d stayed away from my father out of fear and anger. But also because I wanted to separate myself from the Bratva. I wanted a chance to figure out who I was, and frankly, I still wasn’t sure.
“I was tired of hiding,” I told him. “I know Rome from around, and I knew that he would be able to get in touch with you.” I left out Ezra. I wasn’t sure how or when I was going to tell my father about him and vice versa.
My father leaned forward and placed a hand on my knee. I could feel his shaking slightly, and it was shocking. I didn’t think that my father would be glad about my death, but I honestly hadn’t expected him to be as affected as he clearly was.
“I’m so glad that you did.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. A part of me was happy to see my father because I did love him, but another part of me worried about what was going to happen next.
“We can put all this behind us. I can take you home…”
“Absolutely not,” I said, pulling back from him.
“What do you mean?”
