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“She’s not. She promised not to publish any harmful information about me.” I took a deep breath. “I feel relieved, like a weight has been lifted.”
Knox relaxed slightly, but his eyes still held a flicker of doubt. “You sure you can trust her? She’s a reporter.”
“Trust me, Knox, she’s different.” I insisted, recalling the compassion I’d felt from her when I confided my horrible secrets.
Knox looked at me skeptically, but he didn’t press the issue any further. “Alright then,” he said with a nod. “That’s good news, but you don’t seem yourself. What else aren’t you telling me?”
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything that had transpired between Remi and me. I debated whether to confide in Knox, but ultimately decided that I needed someone to talk to.
“Knox, there’s something dark in my past besides my stepbrother’s suicide that I need to tell you. I feel like I’m ready to open up about some shit.”
He nodded for me to continue. I looked around the room before standing up from the table. “Can we go for a walk? I think it would be easier for me to talk if we were alone and outside.”
Knox grabbed his coat off of the back of his chair and stood up. “Yeah, let’s go get some fresh air.”
We stepped out of the hotel into an icy winter day and began walking along a path that meandered through the dormant landscaping. There wasn’t a soul in sight except for the occasional cars passing in the distance.
I jammed my hands into my pockets. It was bitterly cold, but I didn’t really feel it. We walked on in silence for a while before I finally figured out how to tell him, speaking slowly at first as if I were cautiously testing out the waters.
“My dad, he was a horrible man. I told you about how he got drunk and beat me and Adam. But, I didn’t tell you...” I swallowed hard. “Something I’ve kept secret. Because it’s so vile. It’s shameful.” I squeezed my eyes shut and continued, “Not only did he physically abuse my brother and me, but he also took money from men and allowed them to … do stuff to us. We were sexually abused. That’s why my stepbrother killed himself. He couldn’t take it anymore.”
Knox stopped in his tracks, his face filled with horror. He looked at me with such sadness that I could feel tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. “Fuck,” he said softly, pulling me into a hug and thumping my back. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea...”
I let out a long breath, relieved that he hadn’t recoiled in disgust. “Dude, I haven’t even told Maggie yet. It’s been festering inside me, but after I told Remi, I don’t know — I feel different. Better. Like all Maggie’s psychobabble about acknowledging it might be true.”
He stepped away from me. This time, I could clearly see the unease on his face. “Wait. You told Remi? About everything?”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice catching in my throat. “There’s something about her. She’s easy to talk to.”
“That’s because she’s a reporter.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “Fuck! What if she makes this public? Why wouldn’t she? It would be one bloody brilliant scoop for her.”
I shook my head, trying to calm him down. “She said she wouldn’t. I trust her.”
He raised an eyebrow and shot me a patronizing smirk as if he knew something I did not. It was clear that he thought I was a gullible fool. “It’s her job to act like our friend and gain our trust. I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with her when you were so out of your mind. Fuck, mate, I know she seems like a nice girl, but I’ve got a bad feeling about this. When she interviewed me, she was asking about Aila. She’s been digging into our shit, Ghost.”
A hint of unease settled over me. “It’s not like that. There’s something between us. A connection.” I swallowed hard and then let out a heavy sigh. “I fucked her last night.”
Knox’s mouth dropped open. “Fuck me! Tell me you didn’t.”
“This morning, she completely freaked out and ran out of the room. I haven’t seen her since,” I admitted.
His gaze pierced through me. “Maybe she realized that it’s highly unprofessional to have sex with you?”
I inhaled deeply, catching a hint of wood smoke in the air. “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. I’m not going to let her run away so easily.”
“Just remember that she’s a reporter. You’ve got to be careful. She might be playing you.”
After a brief pause, Knox hesitated, biting his lip as if weighing whether to say something. “There’s something else you should know, Ghost…”
I waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, I stopped walking. “Go on,” I urged.
“Look, I don’t want to add fuel to the fire, but I think it’s important for you to have all the facts,” he said cautiously. “Remi was dating someone before she came on our tour. It’s someone we know.”
My heart was thudding in my chest. “Who?”
“Greyson,” Knox replied, his eyes searching mine for any sign of recognition.
“Greyson?” I echoed, my voice barely above a whisper. The words hung in the air like a storm cloud.
