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The whole, long day stretched out in front of me. I was alone with my despair and dark thoughts, and the coffee I’d had this morning was churning in my stomach like I’d chugged a vat of acid. A sharp pain clawed at my chest and I wondered if this was heartbreak.
Chapter 24
Lacey
After a night spent tossing and turning in bed, I woke up to intense period cramps. A quick trip to the bathroom confirmed that I’d gotten my period a few days early. Yay, just in time for New Year’s Eve celebrations.
I had the perverse desire to call up Sebastian and say, ‘Congratulations. You don’t have to worry! None of your swimmers slipped past the latex.’
I had no idea where I stood with him. Sidney and Kaylie knew about us now — at least that we’d hooked up — and I assumed that meant that word would eventually spread among our friends. As long as Bash didn’t mention anything about my kinky proclivities or that we were actually married, I guess I was okay with that. I didn’t have much choice.
Yesterday had been a rollercoaster of emotions. Highs and lows that kept on coming one after the other. The highs had been incredible. I touched the pendant that was hanging from my neck. There were the thoughtful Christmas presents he’d bought me. The amazing shower sex. And the looks that he gave me sometimes, which were so tender and filled with not just lust, but adoration, that it made me stop and wonder.
But then, there were the lows. The offhand comments that hurt each other. The worst low was Bash’s negative reaction to the big revelation that I wasn’t on birth control. His response completely obliterated the abso-fucking-lutely insane idea that I’d had for him to father a child with me. Good Lord, I could only blame the PMS for that one.
Of course, I couldn’t forget the total embarrassment of getting caught naked with Bash by Kaylie and Sid. There were already enough weird currents running between the four of us — adding nakedness to the mix couldn’t be good. To top it all off, Bash blurted out that we were dating to try to explain it all away. It made me snap with irritation. His pretending to be more committed to me so he wouldn’t look bad just highlighted how dumb I was to fall for him. My brain just couldn’t take it anymore.
I blamed PMS. If anyone else blamed my emotions and reactions on my period, I would likely go berserk. But, yeah, in my own head, I could secretly blame it on PMS. What other excuse could I make?
Now I worried about what kind of damage control I’d have to employ with Kaylie. Not only was I boinking my best friend’s brother behind her back, but she knew all about my baby craze. That was one of the reasons she let me butt into her life with the twins so much. I loved being around them. I was their unofficial auntie. If Kaylie happened to put my baby obsession together with her brother, things might get uncomfortable when she grilled me. She would grill me, that I knew. I’d have to play our friends-with-benefits off as a giant lark — just fun-time Lacey getting her rocks off.
But it was far more than that. The baby scheme with Bash I could chalk off to temporary insanity. It was so cringe-worthy that it was better to take that idea to the grave. Regardless of my bad idea, I had feelings for Bash. They ran deeper than I’d originally suspected.
Now that I knew him, I wanted to be dating him. I’d been pissed by his remark to Kaylie and Sid about us dating, but maybe he really did believe that? When I thought about it, it wasn’t too far off the mark. We took Kody out almost every weekend. We went to dinner occasionally and certainly spent a lot of our free time with each other. Maybe that’s what he considered dating, but we’d never labeled it that. I’d been calling it friends-with-benefits. My assumption was that he was using our accidental marriage as an excuse to have fun until the divorce went through.
What if I was wrong?
If he didn’t want any more kids, could I date him? Could I give up my dreams of having a family to be with Bash? I was certain I could love Kody like a mother, and maybe that would be enough. Why the hell did my mind wander down these ridiculous paths? I may be married to Bash, but we were certainly not on the same wavelength as far as marriage and lifelong commitments went.
The ring of my cell phone thankfully cut my run-away thoughts short. It was probably Kaylie calling, but I hoped it was Bash. We needed to talk. When I glanced at the screen, it turned out to be my mother. It was unusual for her to call, so I answered.
“Lacey, darling, how are you?” I could hear her exhaling a long puff of cigarette smoke as she spoke.
“Hello, Audrey. Where are you these days?” I didn’t even bother trying to keep up with my mother’s schedule. She never stayed in one place for too long.
“Barbados. I’m getting married, darling.”
I sat down on my bed. “Who’s the lucky victim?”
My mother laughed off the insult. “His name is Henri Delacroix. We’ve only known each other for four months, but what the hell? Why should we wait? We’re getting married on New Year’s Eve. Isn’t that so romantic?”
“Congratulations,” I muttered half-heartedly. I could just picture Henri now: at least ten years older than my mother with a full head of gray hair and a fat bank account. This would be husband #4 — each successive husband had gotten older, grayer, and richer than the last.
“Thank you, darling. I knew you’d be happy for me. I took care of all the arrangements. Your flight leaves tomorrow. Oh, and I have the perfect dress for you. As long as you didn’t gain any weight since I last saw you?”
I massaged my temple; I felt a migraine coming on. “You can’t expect me to come last minute? I have New Year’s plans!”
She puffed on her cigarette. “You’re my maid of honor, dear. Of course, you have to come.”
“You’re wedding is in two days. You couldn’t tell me sooner? I’ve got a job, responsibilities, plans...”
“Surely your father will give you the time off from your job? Darling, you know I’d move heaven and earth to be with you if you were getting married and Henri would love to meet you.”
I’m sure he would. My mother’s lovers were always intrigued by the younger version of their trophy girlfriend. I was surprised Mother was letting me meet him before the ring was on her finger. Maybe that’s why I’d just found out at the last minute.
I stood up and began pacing back and forth. “Are you sure you want to do this, Mother? Maybe you should get to know him better before jumping into another marriage.”
She blew out a long breath. “Some of us don’t have to dot every i and cross every t before we get married. With your meticulous nature, you’ll never get married, darling. How old are you now? 29? And you’re still single!”
