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“Did she?” She’d brought up that bastard to Shaan. Didn’t she understand how much Lennox had hurt him? She didn’t know Shaan though, didn’t understand how much he’d changed after Lennox’s betrayal. Her time with Lennox had warmed her to the man. A wicked, serpentine feeling—jealousy—flooded my chest. He had no right to Lira or Shaan. They were too good for his treachery. I didn’t know how he’d fooled Lira, but I hoped she could see him clearly in the future, or, at least, not bring the bastard up with Shaan. If we ever reached the point of having civil conversations again, I’d have to find some way to discuss it with her.
“Mhmm.” Shaan’s eyes had grown distant. The darkness of the past six months seemed to wash back over him. “She said she spent a lot of time with him.”
“She did.” A bitter taste rose in my mouth. She’d only spent a few days with the man. Of course, she’d only spent a few weeks with me. If he had no claim to a connection with her, then neither did I.
“How is he?” Shaan whispered.
I turned towards my younger brother. He shrugged like he didn’t really care, but a tension lingered along the line of his shoulders. Goddess we were both fools with love. Shaan had believed the feelings between him and Lennox were authentic. He’d told me once that he still cared for the man. It made me want to strangle the Seelie Prince. Then again, he’d worn Shaan’s zevar. Perhaps Lennox maintained feelings for him, or maybe it was solely to keep the jewel close. Probably the latter. “He’s fine.”
Shaan gave a sharp nod. “That’s fine, then.” He rose to his feet, and I stood with him. “When do you leave for the map?”
“Who told you?”
He rolled his eyes. “Call it an educated guess.”
I chuckled. “In the morning.”
“You should probably get some sleep, then.”
“I should. I guess I’m a coward since I don’t want to return to my room, though.”
Shaan’s eyebrows drew together, and he gave my arm a squeeze. “You’re welcome to stay here if you’d rather.”
I eyed the couch. I’d slept in far less comfortable accommodations, and it would mean letting Lira have the room to herself. There was no way she wished to see me after today, much less sleep at my side. Goddess, the last time we’d done that we’d ended up tangled together, our bodies merging and… I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth to stall the thoughts flooding through me.
“Thanks, Shaan. I think I’ll take you up on that for tonight.”
* * *
The sun had barely woken as fog rose off the lake in front of the palace when the team gathered in the morning. I pulled a pair of gloves on as I walked with Neia away from Orman who grumbled about us getting a slow start, Elisa and Luz who smiled and rolled their eyes at him respectively, and Lira who stood alone, somehow looking elegant despite the simple pants and shirt she’d donned for traveling.
Neia looked like she hadn’t slept much more than me as she turned her face into the sun and the light illuminated dark smudges under her eyes. “The aim is to get the map?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“We should be back in less than a week?”
“I’d think so.”
She nodded so that her dark hair bobbed forward. “Good. I’m hoping that Elisa and I could take some time off after this one. If possible.”
All my concerns over Lira and fairy politics and Shaan washed away at her tone. Neia and Elisa had been the steadiest members of our group since I’d formed it. Elisa had been the first person I’d worked with, in fact. She’d arrived in our lands begging for shelter and showing her metal magic that connected with the elements. Guards brought this information back to Mother who interviewed Elisa and introduced her to me. Neia, however, had done more jobs with me since. Survival and craftiness were inherent to her. I’d be hopeless without the two of them, but their well-being came first. It always had. And the careful way she’d said the words sent alarms sounding through me. “Of course you can.”
“Elisa needs a break.”
“You don’t have to go on this mission if you don’t wish to.” I’d worried about Elisa before the gala at the Seelie palace. I knew something had been off but in the chaos of escaping and my emotional turmoil over Lira, I’d forgotten. “Is Elisa all right?”
Neia waved me off. “She’s okay. Just worn down from it all, you know?”
“I do.” We’d spent years searching for these heart stones, interacting with low-lives, robbing monsters, sailing the seas, sneaking through human lands. It was fucking exhausting.
“We’ve discussed it and we’re good for this job,” Neia said.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
I studied her for another moment. She’d tell me if that wasn’t the case. Or would she? Neia and I were pretty transparent with each other but we both had bad habits of swallowing things down. Elisa laughed at whatever Orman said, color rising to her face. I needed to keep a closer watch on the two of them. They were both excellent members of the team, but, more importantly, they were wonderful friends. Family, really. I didn’t want this brutal career of ours to harm them. “Let me know if anything changes.”
