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I wanted it to prove I had a place in this world.
Having to work with him to achieve that was a blister that rubbed against me with each step.
A twig snapped underneath my feet and beads of sweat glided down my spine. I rolled my sleeves up and considered doing the same with my pants but that would leave my legs exposed to brambles or bugs. I’d deal with the heat.
I took another step, and my vision blurred again, causing me to sway. Sai grabbed my arms. “Are you all right?”
“Fine.” I pulled loose from his grip even as my body longed for his touch. It made me want to scream the way my entire being longed for him.
No.
This man had used me and had no interest in me beyond what benefit I might offer his family and his goals. Which was fine. It was fucking fine.
Luz broke into the buzzing of my thoughts alongside the cry of a bird. “What do we know about the Temple of the Water?”
Neia fell back in the group, so she was closer to the conversation as Sai answered. “It’s a ruin, which we all know.” His eyes dashed to me. Everyone except me knew. Of course he’d rub it in that I was the most useless member of the group. I took a step away from him as he continued. “We know little about the old elemental temples, and what we have is mostly folklore. All the Maharani’s scholars could gather before we left is that legend states the Map of Forgetting is locked in a box stored in the temple room.”
“What if it’s already stolen?” Luz asked.
“That would be unfortunate,” Sai said.
Neia tightened her eyes. “Didn’t you tell me, Lis, that stealing from the elemental temples is supposed to cause a curse?”
Elisa shrugged. “That’s one legend. Probably Seelie tales trying to keep their children from having too much interest in magic.” Her tone hardened, the tender joy of her voice diminishing. “The Seelie use fear a lot.”
Neia stepped over to her and tucked an arm over her shoulder.
“Sometimes legends are true,” Luz said. “Look at the Memoria Globe.”
A peal of thunder crackled against the sky, and wind rustled through lanky bushes. I almost wished it would rain and break the sweltering heat.
“We’ll have to take our chances.” Sai’s tone softened. “Have you had any luck with it?”
Luz’s lips pinched, and they slashed a limb out of the way. “Some.” They didn’t speak for a minute as we continued rustling through the brush. Finally, they raised their face. “There were limited memories connected to my blood. Most of it was feasts and ceremonies, like an archive to help preserve our culture.” Their expression brightened. “I loved getting to see those. But there was something at the end that bothered me.”
I stepped closer to them. “What was it?”
They gave their head a shake, and their braid thunked against their back. “Someone put a memory of an Alegre leader speaking about prophecies of the future. I didn’t understand any of it. They spoke of a descanso which can mean a retreat or rest. It can also mean a pause. It made little sense in the context though.”
“The Alegre had planned to retreat? From their court?” Sai asked.
“I don’t know,” Luz whispered. “Perhaps it doesn’t matter since they didn’t survive, anyway. They attempted to make a stand against the Seelie, and the only thing that resulted in”—Luz’s voice grew sharp and bitter—“was a burning city and no survivors.”
Luz turned off the trail, climbed a tree, then pounced back down. “The sea is only a short distance ahead. Maybe an hour’s walk. I’ll join Orman in the lead in case we run into trouble.”
They weaved past Neia and Elisa and left Sai and me staring after them. Luz’s heartache over their people echoed through me. The prophecy I received had said something about restoring the fairy courts, though. Maybe that meant all four and some of the Alegre were still out there somewhere. Luz didn’t believe it, but after my last few months of experience, possibilities felt endless.
Sai said his parents had waited for a prophecy that revealed the elementals. Shaan had added that they’d prayed for an elemental like me, even. No—they’d prayed for an elemental set of siblings. A brother and a sister. Even that damn apparition had mentioned my brother. The brother I didn’t have. Sirens always killed the father of their children because they didn’t leave loose ends. I remembered the way Sai had reacted when I told him that, like it was unusual. He knew other sirens and apparently some worked at the hospital in his palace. Maybe that wasn’t whatallsirens did. Could I have a father out there somewhere and a brother? Or maybe my father had a son before I was born. My chest swelled with a bitter hope. Perhaps I had a family somewhere that might love me for who I was. God knew I’d never find that in my mother.
I swayed another step and blinked at dark spots that flickered over my vision. The damn heat was too much, and magic tangled through me I didn’t understand or know how to manage. Mother had said the sirens in our troupe wouldn’t have access to their powers if I got too far from them. I’d told her that was her problem, but with the way my magic acted up, I wondered if it was mine too.
“I wish we could talk,” Sai said, his voice heavy.
For a moment I didn’t answer as I regained my balance. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Us… Or, rather, what happened at the Seelie palace.”
My nose flared as he brought that up. The shame and embarrassment and heartbreak all reemerged like a reminder of an unhealed wound I’d ignored. “I think it’s clear what happened. You didn’t trust me, so you cut me out and tasked Luz with monitoring me, just like you left it to Shaan to come after me the other night.”
