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I look down at my hands where my fingers are knotted together. “Does he want me at the hospital?” We’re so new. I’m standing on a thinly iced-over lake and everywhere I step is fraught with cracks.
“I think he’d be happy to see you there when he wakes up.”
“But he didn’t ask for me.”
“Dixie, you both had the same expression on your faces. You’re scared to go to his bedside, thinking it’s too soon. He was scared to ask for you to come, thinking it’s too soon.”
“Is it too soon, do you think?”
“I think it doesn’t matter what I think. Hell, it doesn’t even matter what you think. What do you feel, Dix?”
Jim’s not a guy who is serious very often. I think it’s how he handles the stress of his job. But he’s serious now. How do I feel?
Emotions well up, threatening to drown me in them.
“I want to be there when he wakes up.”
“All right then. Put some real clothes on and we’ll go.”
I frown and look down, remembering I’m wearing a pair of Leo’s boxers and his t-shirt. “Can we stop at my house...I don’t have...”
“Baby Cousin is doing the walk of shame. Never thought I’d see it.”
“Shut up.”
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WHEN THEY WHEEL LEOinto his room after his surgery, I’m waiting for him. The smile he gives me melts my insides. “I had a dream that I had an amazing girlfriend, and here you are.” His voice is croaky and his eyes look funny, but it’s all wonderful to me. This room seemed so sterile and lifeless until he showed up.
“Here I am.”
After they get him all settled, I scoot my chair up to his bedside. “Do you need anything?”
He reaches for my hand. “I think I might have everything I need.”
My eyes burn, the unshed tears begging to fall, but I’ve been trying to be so strong. “You scared me, Leo. When Jim showed up at the door...”
“You were still there. I knew you’d stay. Dixie—”
I don’t know what he’s going to say, but I know it’s going to break the dam on my tears, so I try to change the subject. “It sounds like your operation went well.”
“Dixie—”
“I didn’t think to bring you anything from home. From your house. Do you want some clothes or a book?”
“The only thing I wanted from my house is sitting right here. Why won’t you let me finish talking?”
“I’m two seconds away from blubbering and I’m trying to hold off,” I sputter, trying to blink the stupid tears back.
“But I’m fine.” He’s honestly perplexed at my reaction.
Men are sometimes so unreasonable when they are trying to be reasonable.
“I know.” I blow out a breath. “But this has been very emotional for me and I don’t have a good handle on it. I mean, it’s great that you sent Jim to make sure I knew about the accident. That means so much to me that you remembered how I felt about that. But you could have died. And you saved Jim’s life. And I ate the last piece of your bread, I’m sorry. I’ll get you more before you get home.” And I think it’s the bread that pushes me over. I dissolve until he’s holding my head against his chest. I can hear the strong beat of his heart. It’s steady and true. The truest thing I’ve ever known.
I hope I’m not hurting his incision.
His fingers sift through my hair. “Today was my first surgery ever, if that helps. I’m not going to lie and sugarcoat my job. Sometimes it’s worse than others. But I’m damn good at what I do, sweetheart. Are you going to be okay with it? Being married to a guy too stupid to run away from the fire and runs into it instead? I know it’s a lot to ask. I don’t even want to think about how I’d do if the situation was reversed. But I’m asking you to be brave. Can you do this?”
