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“What Livy?” he asked when she stopped.
She reached out, taking the remote and turned off the TV as she turned further so she could see him, putting the pillow in her lap to hold onto and cover up the scar on her leg until she could tell him about it. “These past few months, I’ve never felt this special or protected and it’s shown me that I need to tell you this.”
“What Livy?” he asked again, studying her as she lowered her chin a bit. “Sweetie, you can tell me anything, even if it’s that you’ve realized you don’t or can’t love me back.”
She raised her face back towards him and shook her head, “It’s not that Will. Scott was mean and cruel in everything he did, every part of our lives.”
“I know he hurt you. I know he scared you, but I swear I will never do that sweetie.”
“I know you won’t on purpose but…when I tell you this, it’s okay if you change your mind about wanting me.”
“Tell me what Livy?” he asked cupping her cheek seeing the fear and pain in her eyes. He wanted to erase it all and make her simply smile again, the way she had when they were younger, before Scott had changed all of their lives.
“Scott was mean and cruel and hurtful when it came to sex. It wasn’t always like that but at the end…it made me feel horrible and disgusting. He didn’t care if I wanted it, if I was ready for it, and at the end…”
“Livy, whatever you say won’t change anything,” Will stated wanting to hold her but he knew she needed to get this out in her own way.
“He would come home, and it didn’t matter if I was awake or asleep. He would do what he wanted, whatever he wanted to me. It was probably eight months before the end when it changed to being even worse. He called me his bitch…would only…” she stopped feeling the disgust overtake her and closed her eyes willing the tears back down. “He’d put his belt around my neck like a leash and treated me like a dog. Half the time I’d be passing out before he finished and then he’d shove me off the bed…he wouldn’t let me sleep in it. He said bitches were only allowed on it to be played with…”
“Oh god Livy, sweetie,” Will said as hatred coursed through him thinking about what Scott had done to her. He knew she was holding herself rigid on purpose, trying to stop from showing how much it all hurt her, and he pulled her into his arms, over his lap so he could hold her, show her that he wasn’t disgusted with her, but with Scott and his treatment of her. “Shh, sweetie, it’s okay. You’re not disgusting Livy. You’re beautiful and incredible and I love you so much. I swear you’ll never have to feel that way again, baby.”
She buried her face in his neck and let out the tears as his hands moved up and down her body, soothing her but yet awakening her further.
He cradled her long after the tears stopped, showing her that she was special to him just the way she was, no matter what happened physically between them. He kissed the light scar on her forehead wondering how she really got it after everything he’d learned.
“I hit my head on the nightstand after he pushed me off the bed. I just couldn’t begin to tell anyone that, so I said I…”
“Ran into the kitchen cabinet,” he said lifting a hand to run his thumb over it. “Livy, baby, I get it. Scott made sex into something horrible for you, where it made you feel degraded and dirty, and I promise no matter how long it takes, I won’t ever push you. I’ll show you and tell you time and again how beautiful you are, how beautiful being with someone who loves you can be, but I’ll never push you.”
“You don’t want to know why I let him do it?” she asked knowing it was the question she’d had for herself time and again.
“I don’t need to ask it, baby. I already know. You were just trying to survive, most likely trying to stop him from hurting you further a lot of the time, and doing anything you could to stop him from threatening to go after Jessie.”
“If I was awake and didn’t do what he said, what he wanted, he’d grab the belt and hit me with it.”
“The whelps on your back?”
“Yeah, there are still scars from them and then this one,” she said moving the fabric of her shorts slightly so he could see the scar from when Scott had cut her with the razor. “He thought I’d bought him the kind of razors you liked instead of the ones he did. He used one to cut me. I was worried it’d need stitches because it took so long to stop the bleeding.”
“Oh god baby, I’m so sorry,” Will said softly to her, knowing that there were plenty of bruises and scars that had to be because of him—well, because of Scott’s jealousy of him. The fact that she was sitting next to him despite it made his heart sing with hope.
He slid his thumb back and forth over the scar on her thigh and pressed light kisses over her face. He found her lips and kissed her, the saltiness of her tears on his lips, and he knew he couldn’t let her go. He couldn’t let anyone else hurt her because he’d caused her far too much already.
“Will…” she gasped feeling her body completely awaken, the warmth, the need that spread throughout it, and she didn’t want to stop.
“Shh, it’s okay baby, I’m right here,” he said lifting her into his arms and carrying her up the stairs to the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and flipped the lamp onto low as he settled onto the mattress with her. He brushed her hair from her face and kissed the scar on her forehead again before going to the one on her collarbone he’d learned about at the ranch. He kissed her wrist and the cuts on her arm as he ran his hands over her body, showing her that he wasn’t going to leave her because of it. He kissed the palm of her hand then dropped a light kiss on her thigh, stopping when she let out a soft sigh.
“Will…”
“What baby?” he asked moving back up to see her face, praying she wasn’t angry with him and his actions.
“Come here please,” she said softly holding out her hand to him. He settled his in hers and stretched out alongside her on the bed, pulling her fully up against him as her lips pressed against his. He caressed her again, letting his hands linger on the side of her breast trying to sense her response to his actions. “Mmm…” she sighed against his lips, and he let his fingers slide across the fabric of her top over her nipples, seeing them stand up as he did.
“Livy, baby, you are the most precious thing I’ve ever found in this world,” he told her when she pulled back slightly. “I want you to know that. I want you to know that I will never walk away from you. I don’t care what it takes, how long it takes, I’m not leaving. I will never leave you or hurt you. I will be here for however long it takes for you to see that you are beautiful. I will be with you forever if you’ll let me.”
“Will…I don’t feel I deserve it,” she admitted. “What he did to me…I’m disgusted with him but mostly with myself for letting it happen.”
“I know you are baby but one day you’ll see that it’s not your fault. You didn’t cause any of it. You didn’t ask for it. I know I should let you go, let you try to find someone who wasn’t the reason behind some of the scars and hurts you’ve lived through, but I can’t. If it’s what you truly want then I will, but I don’t want to.”
