Page 39 of The Unruly


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I seethe with fury. If I ever see Evan, I’m going to kick him in his goddamn balls repeatedly until he’s throwing up.

“It was when I was begging him to let me call Uncle Atticus that he finally went too far. He fucked me and then he shot me up with heroin. So much. Too much.” His voice cracks. “I almost died, Ryder. I overdosed on heroin and if it weren’t for Evan’s dad, Will, getting me to a hospital in time, I’d have died.”

My blood runs cold at his words. “Did you tell them what he did to you?”

He shakes his head sharply. “No. Will was having to explain all over himself that I was visiting but lost my wallet. I don’t have a driver’s license or any form of identification. The hospital had questions and Dad always said that we’re safer if people don’t know anything about our family. I felt like I was pulling these people into my life—into my family’s life—and now their safety was threatened too. All because of my mistakes. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.”

“Evan beat the shit out of you. What did Will have to say about his own fucking son?”

“I lied,” he croaks out. “I said I got jumped to protect Evan.”

“He’s a motherfucking bastard, Rowdy. Why would you protect him?”

He sucks in a staggered breath. “Because it’s Wild’s family. I didn’t know what would happen. I just wanted to leave. I finally had my out.”

I remember when Rowdy came home several months later. He was pale, his eyes were sunken in, and he’d lost muscle mass. His hair was limp and he was sporting some fading bruises. It looked like the town had chewed him up and spat him back out. But he was borderline mute when he came home. Dad set him up in the old cabin down by the river to give him his space. We were all told to back off so he could breathe. That he was going through some shit.

Guilt surges through me. I’d told Dad Rowdy came back fucked-up. I’d been cruel about it. Knowing what I know now, I feel like a total dick for saying that. My brother came back fucked-up because someone had tried to destroy him.

“I asked Uncle Atticus to take me home,” he says quietly. “Evan was probably pissed, but I avoided him altogether and went straight back home after the hospital. I never saw or spoke to Evan again.”

It seems unfair that Wild would punish him for such a small thing—the kiss he witnessed—when my brother was literally trying not to die.

“So this was never really about Wild?”

He shrugs. “No. Maybe Wild thinks so because he thinks everything is about him. But no. This shit was all me and Evan.” Rowdy lets out a humorless laugh. “You know, even all these years later, I still crave the warmth of the heroin as it crawls through my veins. I hated it, but I miss it.”

Thank fuck he’s away from that shit.

“Anyway,” Rowdy says with a grunt. “Dad and Mom or anyone aside from me and Evan knows about all that. I’d like to keep it that way. Mom might die if she knew I had sex with another man.”

We both laugh, but it’s a little flat.

I have the urge to tell him all about me and Ronan. That maybe he doesn’t have to feel ashamed because we all fuck up. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but in the end, I bite it back. I refuse to out Ronan or tell what we did without his permission. Maybe someday we can tell him together.

“Thanks for confiding in me, Rowdy. I’m sorry that happened to you. I wish I could beat that motherfucker’s face in.”

He clutches the back of my neck before gently squeezing it. “You’re a good brother. Time for bed. We’re going to get our people back and soon.”

If Dad ever does truly send me away, I’ll make sure I find Evan and pay him a little visit.

No one fucks with my family and goes unscathed.

No one.

I’m so sore between my legs. It burns—feels raw. And when I went to pee, I noticed blood in my panties, which were also drenched with Ronan’s cum.

So messy.

But it was Ronan. Despite the pain, I felt a connection between us that sparked to life. Something new and tantalizing. He kissed me with fire and purpose. I still remember the way his hips flexed and thrust, the need to impale me almost animalistic.

I did that.

I made Ronan feel that way.

It was wrong, though. I mean, he’s my brother. We had sex. My parents’ worst fears happened. I keep waiting for Mom to pop her head into my tent and yell at me.

Tears burn at my eyes.

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