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“Well, that makes three of us,” I say with a huff. “Ryder is avoiding me now. He seems on board with doing stuff and then something will happen for him to completely retreat. Boys are complicated.”
Ronan smiles for real this time. “So are girls. I’m gay but slept with you. It felt good and I’m not sure what to do about that.”
We’re quiet for a bit, both of us lost in our own heads. His hand finds my hip, stroking me gently there. I let out a contented sigh as I relax, resting my head on his arm.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” I murmur. “I have all these emotions and feelings around both you and Ryder. It’s like I can’t control them. All I know is it makes me happy being with you. Ryder also makes me happy. It breaks my heart knowing you feel betrayed by us. It’s not all Ryder’s fault. You should punch me too.”
He scoffs, shaking his head. “I’m not punching you. For the record, I feel like a complete ass for hitting Ryder. He didn’t deserve it. My mind is a mess and I took it out on him.”
“He might’ve deserved it a teeny bit,” I tease, holding up my finger and thumb to show him how much. “The jerk’s been avoiding me all day. If he doesn’t cut it out, I’ll give you permission to do it again.”
We both smile, the tension between us finally fading.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, growing serious. “About what has your mind so messy?”
A storm brews in his eyes and he shakes his head. “You already know. We were kidnapped, hurt, and had to murder our way away from those people. That would fuck anyone up.”
Some of us, though, are more fucked-up than others.
Kristen, Ronan, and Destiny all seem to be haunted by the same demons. I shiver at the thought of what they must’ve endured. If only Ronan would tell me what happened. Then, maybe, I could help him feel better.
“I just,” Ronan starts, voice hoarse, “I just sometimes feel really fucking alone.”
My heart bleeds at his words. Leaning closer, I kiss his mouth softly. “You’re not alone. You have me. And Ryder when he’s not being a dick. We love you and won’t ever leave you.”
His gaze softens as he studies me. Then his eyes close as he kisses me back, this time, shockingly with tongue. Heat floods through me, settling in my core.
“You saved me,” I murmur against his lips. “Having sex with you was everything to me.”
He rolls until his body presses mine into the mattress. Pulling from our needy kiss, he stares at me and smiles. “It was everything to me too. Not exactly the way I’d imagined sex, but still good because it was you.”
His words have pleasure ringing through me.
“Maybe you would feel better if you could do it again,” I breathe, wriggling under his much larger body. “Without fear and able to use your hands.” My fingers thread through his hair. “You wouldn’t feel so alone. I could help you like you helped me.”
“I’m not sure I could get hard again,” he says, cheeks flaming crimson. “As much as I want to.”
I slip my legs out from under him, wrapping them around his waist. “You haven’t even tried.”
His lips find mine again, but this time he thrusts against me. I can feel his cock as it fills with blood, turning hard against me. Digging my feet into his ass and lifting my hips, I urge him to continue. He begins frantically moving his hips, grinding into me as he devours my mouth.
I want his hands all over me.
I need him inside of me again.
Last time stung and wasn’t exactly as pleasurable as having Ryder’s fingers inside me, but we were at a disadvantage then. Now, just the two of us, unbound and alone, we can have the freedom to explore. The chance to bring each other actual pleasure.
“Take off my jeans,” I murmur, meeting his fiery stare. “Please.”
He pulls back and then sets to unbuttoning them. The eager way with which he tugs at my jeans has fire burning through my veins. I help him by kicking out of them and then allow him to settle back between my legs. With just our underwear separating us, the sensations are much more heightened.
“This feels good,” I breathe, tugging at his hair. “Does it feel good for you even though I’m a girl?”
He grunts, rubbing up against me. “It feels good because you’re you. My best friend. My favorite sister.”
His mouth finds my neck and he suckles on my flesh while he ruts against me. It drives me wild with need. I ache to fully have him again. This time will be different—better.
“Take off your shirt,” I plead. “I want to touch you.”
