AllFreeNovel
Share Us
If Mom had stumbled in on me with my hand down Raegan’s pants, there’s no telling what she would have done.
Thoughts of Dad chasing me with a shotgun take over.
Fuck.
We can’t do that shit ever again. I’m not looking to die.
Ever since last night, when things got hot and heavy behind the barn, Ryder has been avoiding me. He even slept with the door blocked to his cabin, which meant when I attempted to sneak in when everyone was asleep, I couldn’t. Now, he’s gone with Wild, Chet, and Sadie to the river.
I want to throttle him.
To demand to know why he keeps giving me mixed signals.
It’s frustrating.
Mostly, I want to punch him for making me feel alone. Dad was able to get out of bed and sit by the fire this evening, which should have been something to celebrate, but I could barely contain the hurt of how Ryder has made me feel.
“Do we think any of the survivors will try and return?” Dad asks Uncle Atticus, wincing slightly in pain.
Uncle Atticus shrugs. “From what Rowdy told me, there’s only a handful of them left. Mostly kids. A guy named Tom and a woman who was married to one of the men Rowdy killed.”
“And Logan?” Dad grits his teeth, scanning the area for Ronan and relaxing when he doesn’t see him. “Is there a chance he could come back?”
I sit away from the fire, listening but not joining in on the conversation. Mom and Aunt Eve are busy with the kids, keeping them corralled and out of trouble. Destiny sits between Rowdy and Mom, head down and fixated on her lap. Kristen, an outsider to our group, does her best to fit in with Mom and Aunt Eve, though I can tell it’s forced. I’m anxious to know what Uncle Atticus thinks about Logan.
“Ryder says Ronan shot him. Saw the blood trail.” Uncle Atticus grunts. “He could still be out there. But, so far from his people, injured, and lost in the wilderness, the likelihood of him coming back is slim to none.”
“But there’s still a chance.” Dad rubs at a spot on the center of his chest, frowning. “We can never be too careful.”
I’d been satisfied by Ryder’s statement that Logan was most likely dead. Now, I’m not so sure it makes me feel safe. Without seeing his bloody corpse, there really is no way to know. In reality, Logan is probably rotting not far from his dad. The critters are picking over his bones as we speak. Still, I don’t feel at ease.
I glance over my shoulder toward the gate. It’ll be dark soon. Ryder and the rest better come home before night falls. I may be mad at him, but thoughts of Logan lurking around have me spooked.
Dad and Uncle Atticus change topics, brainstorming about the next supply run, plans to rebuild the big house, and other boring stuff. I take my leave, slipping away from the group around the firepit before anyone can ask where I’m going.
I find Ronan in Ryder’s cabin, sleeping on his side in the bed with his back to the wall. He’s been sleeping a lot lately, which is worrying. I wish he’d talk to me. It’s like the moment we were freed from our hellish prison, I lost Ronan to himself.
Closing the door behind me, I kick off my shoes and then slide into bed next to him. The bed smells heavily like Ryder. I inhale his scent as I scoot closer to Ronan. His glasses are on the bedside table. Without them, it reminds me of when we were in captivity. My heart aches for him. He went through so much abuse from Logan.
Gently, I run my finger along his jaw, studying his relaxed features. The bruises Logan gave him are beginning to fade. I wonder if the big one on his heart will be there forever. Leaning forward, I kiss his parted lips, hoping to give him comfort.
His eyes open, panic flashing briefly in them. It takes a second for him to realize it’s just me and relax. I shiver when his arm wraps around me. Cuddling closer, I breathe in his familiar scent, letting it fill my lungs with the presence of him.
“Hi, sleepyhead,” I say, grinning at him.
“Hi.” He doesn’t return my smile. “Where’s Ryder?”
I bristle at his irritated tone. “Avoiding us.”
“I figure he’d avoid me,” Ronan grunts, “but assumed he’d want to spend every second with you. You know, since you got him off and I punched him for it.”
Lifting a brow at him, I smirk. “You almost sound jealous.”
The corner of his lips twitches like he might smile. “I don’t know what I am, to be honest. Confused. Pissed. And, yeah, jealous, I guess.” He pauses, looking away and scowling. “Maybe I feel betrayed.”
I sit up on my elbow and frown at him. “Really? You and I had sex. Like you came inside of me, Ronan, and you’re mad at Ryder for getting a handjob?”
His cheeks redden and he bites on his bottom lip. “I told you. I’m confused.”
