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How horrible is it of me that my next biggest concern is, what if he can tell because I’m not good at it?
Selfish.
But it is my birthday so I accept it. “Sounds good.”
Chapter Eleven
Quinn
I want her again.
So bad. It’s ridiculous. She’s so pretty, and it’s not just that, it’s just this feeling I have. She’s walking down the hall, I watch her steps and think to myself, I’m an idiot because I’m obsessed with the cadence, like how does a human get obsessed with how someone walks?
But I am.
Fully invested, by the way, in how she walks. Her hips sway, there are tiny things about her that are so amazing but it’s almost like she saves them for me when I’m watching. She looks over her shoulder and smiles. Meanwhile, I nearly walk into a wall, then the fridge, then take a minute.
A near death experience and I met someone for a reason, I hope.
I just want to be close to her and I feel a weird need to do exactly that.
I would hold her if that’s what she wanted.
I would kiss her on the cheek, ask permission to hold her hand, she’s just so interesting and fun. I feel like she gets me and I get her.
It’s different than it was with MB, I was in full protective mode along with having a whole secret life that I shouldn’t have kept secret. I was in a war with my best friend, and oh yeah, trying to survive my dad’s heavy hand on everything I did since apparently being in the chess club was so not the direction he wanted me going.
But Chloe? She was free.
And she was mine.
The only thing that has been mine in a very long time, like a secret I keep between just us and don’t have to feel guilty about.
“Hey.” I grab her hand, then slap her ass. “Go into my room, first door on the right in the hallway, and I’ll grab us some snacks.”
She smiles, but it feels like a different sort of smile, maybe she’s nervous, I don’t know, but it just feels off.
I ignore it as she walks by because I know it’s her birthday and maybe she’s just sad and I want to make her feel special. It’s important she knows that it wasn’t a one-night stand, that it was us, her, together. I’ve been through a lot with my past and I’m just so done and while I don’t know her entire history, I feel like she’s the same way.
I smile as I walk to the fridge and grab two cokes.
This is it, right?
When you find someone and you’re at peace.
When you feel for someone else but know they will only ever be a friend and when you find someone you know will be more than that or could be?
I don’t want to stress Ambrose out because hello apparently MB is pregnant which is a whole different thing I refuse to even think about, but also, I can’t be angry, they’re in this for the long run and if that means they have a baby before they planned, I’m good with that, it was just a huge shock, but I’m good, I have other things to look forward to and I’m finally moving past everything and it’s all because she makes me feel like I never had my heart broken, which is just… huge for me.
I smile as I grab some Twizzlers, a few cans of Trulys, and make my way back to the room I’m staying in. She’s already on the bed, her hair is spread across a pillow. “Why is this so comfy?”
“Because it’s my room.” I answer. “Any other questions, or do you want to watch something epic?”
“Yes, because watching suspense always works for us. Oh no, is this our porn?”
I laugh so hard I nearly fall off the bed I just climbed onto. “No, that would be weird, imagine Jason Statham, never mind, it just got weird, eat a Twizzler.”
She laughs and grabs the pack from me, opening it and tugging one out, her smile is wide and free. I want to think I did that to her, I want to think I can do more to her, again and again.
