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“As I recall,” he said, “you took the job ofactualgirlfriend.”
I had, and now I regretted my choice. “I was just faking it,” I lied. “I thought it would increase the odds of getting the deal done if I faked being your girlfriend well enough to fool you.”
“You don't mean that.”
“You calling me a liar?”
“Tell me what the problem is,” he said. “You owe me that much.”
The request was simple enough. It wouldn't make it easier, but he was right. I needed to explain, though if he thought about it at all, it was pretty obvious.
“I saw the envelope. I heard your uncle's message. I know you're leaving.”
He tried the locked door handle. “Amy, open the door so we can discuss this.”
“We just had that discussion.” I turned his words around on him.
“I want you to come with me,” he said.
And there it was: the demand that I leave my life to follow him. He'd agreed that it had been Matt's fault when he left me, not mine that I didn't follow him. Now the shoe was on the other foot, and the logic got turned around.
“You know I can't do that. I can't abandon Samantha and everybody else and leave my company.”
“Sunshine, then you stay here. I'll go to school there, and I'll see you every single weekend.”
He hadn't been through it, so he didn't realize how it wouldn't work. It could never work.
“Been there, done that,” I told him. “It doesn't work. It can't work.”
“Then I'll tell you what, Sunshine, I'll stay here with you.”
His suggestion was off-the-wall stupid.
“You can't do that. You won't do that. You know it, and I know it.”
“Bullshit,” he said angrily.
“You promised Roberta to become a doctor and heal people. I know how you are about your promises. You won't be able to let that one go. It will tear you up inside every day until you decide to honor the promise and leave me.”
“Sunshine, I would never leave you.”
I was tempted to believe him. “Liam, you forget I know you. I can't put you through that. I won't put you through that. I won't make you choose between me and your promise to her.”
The hardest part was understanding that in the end, he wouldn’t choose me anyway. He couldn’t; the stupid coin in his pocket would drive him away.
For the longest time, he didn't say anything. “Sunshine, life is all about making choices. I choose you.”
I couldn’t let him tempt me. “And I don't get a choice? Liam, the answer is no. I can't and I won't let you break your promise to become a doctor. And I can't and I won't try another long-distance relationship. It can't work.”
If I let myself become more attached to him, it would only be harder in the end. That would utterly destroy me.
“What would you like for dinner?” he asked, surprising me, tempting me.
“Liam, I won’t fall for that. I'm not opening the door.”
He spent another ten minutes trying to convince me to open the door.
Finally he sighed. “We'll talk again tomorrow. Sleep tight,” he said. “Love you, Sunshine,” he called just before his footsteps faded out down the hallway.
