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Raf has never been able to see himself objectively, or even positively. Not like I see him. And because of that, he doesn't realize that he is a much better human than I could ever aspire to be.
But I know.
I've always known.
The pain is manageable with the meds for the rest of the day. Raf is in and out of his office as he tries to wrap up his work faster, even though I tell him it's not necessary. Still, he wants to be by my side at all times.
When he's finally finished with all his conference calls, we settle in the living room, alternating between watching some movies and playing video games for old times' sake.
I may be a little rusty in that department, but everything is so much fun that I quickly forget all about worries, the pain only a low echo in the background.
It's a few days later when I'm well on my way back to normality that Raf announces we're going out. Expecting another outrageous date idea—not that I'd mind it—he surprises me by saying we're going to visit Vlad and Sisi.
"Please tell me you're not still jealous of Sisi," he murmurs softly when he sees my expression immediately sour.
"It's not that I'm jealous of her," I roll my eyes. And I'm not. Not really. I'm only jealous of the fact that she was there for him when I couldn't—takingmyplace as his friend and confidante. Then there's also the small fact that they almost got married, which also does nothing to improve my mood. "It's just that I don't want to imagine what would have happened if you'd have actually married her," I pout at him.
"Noelle," he smiles, "pretty girl, we've had this conversation at least a hundred times. I never saw her as anything more than a friend. If we had married, it would have been one of in name only. She was still in love with Vlad and I… Well, I…"
"Well?" I raise a brow at him.
"I was still hung up on you," he admits in a low voice. "I was so messed up after you stopped replying to me. Retrospectively, maybe I had my first heartbreak," he adds pensively, as if he's just realizing that.
"But heartbreak would mean you felt something for me. Something not quite platonic?" I bat my lashes at him suggestively, waiting for the moment he finally recognizes we were meant to be—even then.
"You're right," he nods absentmindedly. "Maybe there was something more."
He doesn't elaborate further, simply turning to put on a light jacket while instructing me to do the same.
I narrow my eyes at him, giving him a look he doesn't seem to notice. Eventually, I realize it's a lost battle, and I simply put on my shoes as I get ready to leave.
Men!
Sometimes Raf can be a little too oblivious, and while most times it's awfully cute and endearing, there are also those times, like now, when I'd like nothing more than jump on him and forcefully demand the words from his mouth.
But this is neither the time nor the place.
I need to put aside this obsession I have with his friendship with Sisi and treat it accordingly. After all, itisjust a friendship. Especially considering the fact that Sisi is mindlessly in love with her own husband. Granted, that's the only thing saving her from my wrath.
"You've gone quiet," Raf mentions as he starts the car.
"Oh, just woolgathering," I give him a dazzling smile.
I couldn't very well tell him I was thinking of ways Iwouldhave ended Sisi if she hadn't been already married and thoroughly devoted to her husband.
Raf always makes fun of my jealousy, thinking it'scute.
News flash. It'snot.
Iwouldkill someone who tried to make a move on him.
Sadly, he's not ready for that type of truth, or realization.
And so I must count myself lucky for his tunnel vision and the fact that I'm simply untouchable in his mind.
A smile pulls at my lips.
I guess there are some good things about his obliviousness, too.
