AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Fucking hell, Noelle. If anyone were to see that they'd think I abused you. And they would be right. How could…"
"Shh," she places a finger over my lips. "I bruise easily. But you didn't hurt me at all. You didn't abuse me. You only gave me pleasure. I know you might not remember the night too well, but all you did was love me, never anything else. OK?"
"Pretty girl… Promise to tell me if I ever hurt you?"
"Of course," she readily agrees. "Now go shower and come back for breakfast," she pokes my chest playfully as she gives me yet another kiss.
"Don't tell me I smell," I raise a brow at her.
"You don't," she smiles. "In fact, I like you better like this. All musky, and male, andmine," she bats her lashes. "But I know you'll feel better after a hot shower."
“Wise little thing," I wink at her, which earns me another poke, this time on my ass.
"Go," she mouths.
Shaking my head at her antics, I go back to the bedroom, grabbing a few clean towels before heading to the bathroom for a steamy shower. I'm still slightly disoriented from the drugs, but as the water hits my skin I release a weary sigh, finally finding some comfort after a long night.
Letting the water wash over me, I tilt my head back and relax.
But my mind doesn't seem to want to do that.
Not when the water becomes hotter, and upon meeting my skin, it triggers flashes from the night before—flashes from long ago.
I'm frozen to the spot—so fucking still I can't even control the temperature of the water.
My eyes snap open as my mouth parts in horror, images dancing before my eyes—awful, awful images that make me want to truly rip the skin off my back.
I seeeverything. Everything that was revealed to me the night before and all the memories that I must have buried inside my brain at some point. I see them and I…
Turning off the faucet, I step out of the shower, donning only a clean pair of sweatpants and mechanically drying my hair off before going back to the dining room.
Like a stranger in my own body, I sit down at the table Noelle laid for the two of us, slowly picking up my utensils and attempting to eat.
But the smell of the food seems foul now.
"Raf?"
I pick at the food, a little hesitant to bring it to my mouth as my stomach still rebels at those images—at those debasing touches I can still feel on my skin. The hottest water could not cleanse the past away from me, or the pain at having it brought back like this.
"Raf," Noelle's hand covers mine as she takes the fork from me. "What's wrong?"
Slowly, I bring my gaze to hers, swallowing hard as I can't bring myself to utter a lie, though that would be the best for her peace of mind. And maybe mine.
I can only stare into her worried eyes, tears pricking at my eyeballs. So I just hold myself utterly still.
"What's wrong, Raf? There's something wrong, I can tell." She abandons her seat opposite me at the table to come to my side.
She's close—too close?—and for a moment everything in me rebels at the contact.
But then there's her scent. Her utterly irresistible scent that always soothes me—even now, when I'm on the brink of tears.
"Talk to me please," she whispers, her hand on my back as she slowly strokes me. "What's wrong?"
I should say nothing. Lie and let this rest, not fucking taint her with my past and the fact that I feel like half a man for what happened—or at least what I think happened.
But one look at her and I know I couldn't do that. I owe it to her to know just what a fucking mess I am.
"I had some flashes last night."
