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NOELLE
"You sure knowhow to make a lady feel special," I grin at him.
He chuckles.
“That’s because you’remyspecial lady, Noelle.”
His hands are on the sides of my face, touching me lightly as if he didn't dare do more—as if he's still afraid this moment is ephemeral.
There's an intensity to his eyes that makes me shiver. Yet he doesn't do more.
It's at that moment that I realize how tightly wound up he is. How his muscles are coiled with tension, ready to burst at any moment. All that fear from before is still packed within him—the what-ifs from before still haunting his mind.
He's looking at me with so much longing it breaks my heart that he feels the need to deny himself, that he's afraid he might scare me with that side of him.
And it's not the first time, is it?
All along, there's been something holding him back. Making him slow down when all he wanted was to go faster, stronger, harder.
While I was becoming increasingly scared of the extent of my feelings for him—of the things that I woulddofor him—he's been doing the same, hasn't he?
The only time when he'd been truly uninhibited had been under the influence of drugs. Then he'd taken me so raw, so out of control.
I continue to look at him, as if by merely looking I could decipher the secrets of his soul. And to an extent I can.
I know about his childhood and about his relationship with his parents. I know all the expectations placed on him. More than anything, I know he's never allowed himself to be anything more than what was required of him. He'd been neatly placed in one mold and he'd never tried to break out of it.
He'd simply accustomed himself to living life from the shadows, being trapped within his body, that ultimate cage of his own making.
The world doesn't know the real him. It never did.
OnlyIdo. Only I am privy to his deepest desires, to the man he is beneath it all—to the person he is when he is stripped of theGuerraname.
Only I know his core—his desire to be…more.
It's always been something we both related to. Caught by our circumstances, we could only commiserate while imagining a world where things were different.
"Give me your thoughts," I whisper softly, urging him to open up to me.
His mouth opens and closes, indecision flashing across his face.
Instead of talking, though, he does something entirely unexpected. He grips the hem of my cotton dress, pulling it up over my head. Surprised, I go along, wanting to see what he means to do—excited at the prospect he might do whatIwant him to.
The car windows are tinted. No one on the outside can see us—not that I'd mind at this point. All I want is to have his big hands on my body, feel his calloused fingers as they grip my flesh and remind me we are mortals, yet we are so much more. We're bodies dancing in the night while our souls kiss.
He flings the dress aside, leaving me completely naked for his perusal. The only item still on my body is the necklace, the proof of our undying love.
"You want my thoughts, pretty girl?" his voice is gravelly, thick and so full of emotion it only serves to trigger my own forgotten passion—the one reserved only for him.
"I want every bit of you, Raf. I want the spoken and the unspoken. Every little bit."
"I'm a mess," he admits, vulnerability dripping from his voice. "I'm a fucking mess who loves you more than it should be legal to love someone."
His confession washes over me, infusing me with inexplicable lightness and a pulsing need that starts from the middle of my chest, moving lower until it reaches that spot between my thighs.
"But there's so much you don't know… So much I've kept from you and it's killing me…"
"Shhh," I bring my finger against his lips, shushing him. "I don't care. Not now, Raf. I know everything I need to know."
