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“You know I’ve never minded your scars,” I give her a tentative smile. “Despite being an idiot about it the first time I saw them, I’ve never thought of them as anything but beautiful. Becauseyouare beautiful. Every inch of you,” I say, surprised by my own words.
“You’re supposed to be mad at me.”
“I know.”
“Why are you nice to me?”
“Do you want me to stop?”
She shakes her head.
“I just want to be deserving of it when it happens.”
She averts her gaze.
“You surprise me sometimes,” I say as I continue to tend to her arm. Where is the Noelle who just a few hours ago was begging me to forgive her?
“How so?” Her lashes flutter. She turns her head, leaning in until we’re a mere breath apart.
“You’re full of contradictions. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you. Someone so…complex. You’re you, the you I know—because I refuse to believe everything was a lie…”
“It wasn’t,” she interrupts, a certain vehemence to her voice.
“But there’s another you. One I don’t think I’ve ever met before, have I?”
She licks her lips, her eyes on me.
“Even back when I thought you were Lucero. You still showed methisside of you. The sweet, vulnerable side. But there’s so much more, isn’t there?Youare so much more.”
Suddenly, her hand comes to rest on top of mine, stopping my movements.
“You’re the only one I’ve ever shown that side of me, Raf,” she whispers. “I’ve never been described assweetby anyone other than you,” she chuckles.
“Why?”
“Action and reaction,” her lips strain in a sad smile. “I’ve only ever behaved as a reaction to how others behave towards me. And besides you…” she takes a deep breath. “No one’s ever been nice to me before.”
“That can’t be right,” I frown. “What about your family?”
Cisco had told me that they had been close when she’d been younger, and both him and Yuyu had treated Noelle like their own child.
“Maybe Cisco and Yuyu in the beginning. But when they sold me… That suddenly negated everything that happened before. I couldn’t look at them and remember the good times anymore. I could only see their betrayal. And then you came along and…” she lets out a soft laugh. “Do you know that I wore feminine clothes for the first time with you in mind?”
“What? Really?”
She nods.
“This is so embarrassing, but I had the biggest crush on you before I even knew what you looked like. You could say I was young and going through a little personality crisis, but I tried my best to imagine what you would like. You’d told me you preferred dainty girls so… I tried to be one,” she blushes as she looks away.
“That’s…flattering,” I stifle a laugh, not wanting to embarrass her further since she looks as if she wishes the earth swallowed her up.
“I’m a different person with you, Raf. I’ve always been. With anyone else…” she trails off, her gaze far away.
“How did you find out what I looked like?” I steer the topic into a more comfortable zone.
While I continue to bandage her arm, she proceeds to tell me all about the first mall encounter and how she’d managed to track me down.
The entire story blows my mind as I realize the extent of her loneliness back then and the fact that I had been her only refuge.
