Page 169 of The Sins of Noelle


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Maybe I should be a little more weirded out by the fact that she’d stalked me numerous times at my school—that she’d sat in the library with me, watching me. But I’m only mad about our wasted opportunities, the lost time and all the fucked-up things that had happened along the way.

She’d been so close, yet so far…

Most of all, I see the scared teenager she’d been—the one forced into a marriage she didn’t want but didn’t know how to get out of. And that breaks my heart more than anything else.

I could have been there for her.

As she tells me she’d planned to convince me to run away with her, I realize that everything had been against us from the beginning.

God… If only she’d have come to me before… If instead of waiting to meet at the cafe she would have come forward at the convenience store, maybe none of this would have happened.

Because despite knowing myself back then—despite knowing my failings and the fact that I was far too weak to do much—I know I would have dropped everything for her.

If she’d told me to run away with her, I would have.

“Your turn now,” Noelle suddenly declares when I’m done with her arm. “You’re the one with the extensive injuries.”

“Ok,” I grunt, letting her switch our positions.

I take off my shirt and pants, laying them to the side. My injuries are mostly located on my torso, both sides purple.

“I’ll do your head injury again. I stopped the bleeding before, but I didn’t treat it properly since I wasn’t very sure what to do,” she admits with a shy blush. “How bad is the pain?”

“Better now after the pills. My head doesn’t hurt as much, but the spot is tender.”

She nods, pouring disinfectant on some gauze and gently dabbing at the wound.

“You really found me attractive back then? I didn’t look like this…” I ask, unable to help myself.

I remember too well how I used to look back then—or, rather, how I’d seen myself. My mental health had taken a hit, as had my self-esteem. Maybe I hadn’t beentoobad, but in my eyes, no one could have ever found me attractive.

“I fell in love with your eyes,” she murmurs with a smile on her face. “You were absolutely perfect then, just as you are now.”

I nod, my cheeks heating up.

“Done,” she surprises me by saying. “Now we need to do something about your ribs.”

“I’ll be fine. If there’s no internal damage, they will heal on their own.”

“But it will be agonizing…”

“We have plenty of painkillers until I can see a doctor,” I note as I go through what’s left of the medical kit. “I’ll just need to not strain myself,” I grumble, already not liking the prospect of that.

We’re alone somewhere in the mountains, far away from civilization. I need my strength to protect her. And though I know I shouldn’t, if the opportunity arises, I’ll simply ignore the pain and push against the discomfort.

I may still be mad at her, but that doesn’t mean for a moment that I’m going to leave her defenseless. She ismyresponsibility—mine to protect.

God, but I could completely hate her, and my first instinct would still be to protect her.

How fucked up is that?

Well, not as fucked up as the realization that I don’t…hate her? Or at least hate wouldn’t be the proper word. Maybe it was the entire near-death scenario, but there’s an odd peace in my heart as I watch her fumble her way through the medical kit in her semi-naked state. There’s something utterly charming about this moment despite our dire circumstances or the fact that I still need answers for what happened at the hacienda.

Yes, there’s the creeping doubt of the past, but something inside of me tells me that I need to hear her out or I’m going to regret it forever.

I’ve already let regrets drown me my entire life. I’m not going to add Noelle to that endless list.

“This is the perfect area to hunt since animals are bound to show up for water,” Noelle’s voice grounds me as I turn my attention to her.

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