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“Listen, Reese. I’ve been really horrified by my behavior.” He held his hands up to stop me from interrupting. “My behavior before that night, as well. I’ve been an asshole. You deserved better.”
“Thank you for saying that. I think you and I just have this history, you know? Where we thought we would have a future together, but in reality, we wanted different things out of life. I think I convinced myself that if we both wanted marriage and kids, that was enough. But I realize now that I have dreams of my own, too. And I’m not upset with you anymore for dating Christy, because if you hadn’t, we would have just fallen into that same routine as soon as I’d returned home. I’m happy with where things are going in my life now. And I want you to be happy, too.”
He nodded. “I’ve been an idiot. I should have supported you when you left for London. I was being stubborn. Fuck, I messed up so many times.”
“I think things worked out the way they were supposed to.”
He studied me for a long moment. “Are you feeling all right? You look a little pale. You pushing too hard?”
That was the doctor in him. And with my history, it was normal for everyone to worry. “I have been feeling really worn out. I didn’t expect to have so many clients right away, but I’m loving it. And you know, I’m always afraid to even tell anyone that I’m exhausted because they will freak out and think it’s the worst-case scenario. I thought of calling Dr. Roberts just to be safe, but you know he’s good friends with my dad, so everyone will hear about it, and then all the drama will start.”
He didn’t hide the concern from his gaze. “Well, instead of saying anything or going to him, what if I run a full panel and just check your blood work and make sure there aren’t any red flags? Maybe you’ve got mono or a virus. Let’s rule out everything before we panic.”
“Really? That would be amazing. And you could keep it between us. If anything comes up, then I’ll go see Dr. Roberts. But I’m fairly certain it’s just exhaustion. I have been going nonstop.”
“It probably is. Stop by my office later today, and I’ll have Janet draw your blood and get it over to the lab. With the holidays, it might take a bit longer, but we’ll get all of it back shortly after Christmas. Then you can put your mind at ease.”
“Thank you, Carl,” I said. “And how about you? Are you doing okay?”
“I am. I think I’m going to take some time and just be alone for a while. You know if you change your mind, and you and Finn don’t work out, I’ll be here.” He waggled his brows, his attempt to be funny.
I chuckled. The problem was, it didn’t matter if Finn was committed to this or not in the long run. He’d shown me what I wanted out of a relationship and what it meant to truly be loved by a man.
And I knew that Carl and I did not have a future.
He pushed to his feet and clutched his chest. “I know that look very well. I get it. You’ve got it bad for the guy. I knew it the first time I saw you two together when you came home outside of Cottonwood Café.”
“What do you mean?” I stood and followed him to the door.
“The way you looked at him after he’d kissed you.” He shrugged. “You’ve never looked at me that way.”
Finn and I hadn’t even been a real thing back then.
“How did I look at him?” I chuckled as he pulled the door open.
“Like he was the center of your universe.” He leaned over and hugged me goodbye. “He looked at you the same way. And you know what, Reese?”
“What?” I asked as he stepped outside.
“You deserve that. I know it. And I think you know it now, too.” He held a hand up and walked toward the parking lot. “Don’t forget to come by today. I want to run that blood work.”
I waved. “I will. Thank you, Carl.”
When I closed the door, I leaned against it and closed my eyes.
He was right. I did look at Finn that way.
Because Finn Reynolds was the center of my universe.
twenty-three
Finn
I’m going holiday shopping with Reese tonight. I got her that charm bracelet I told you about. You know, the one that supposedly says, “I want to date you for real.”
Hugh
What was the gift that said, “I want to fake date you?”
