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As I think back on that moment with Kevin, I realize that there were so many red flags that I should have seen. The way he always wanted me to apologize for things that weren't my fault, the way he would get angry and violent when he didn't get his way, the way he would manipulate me into feeling guilty for things that weren't my fault.
But I didn't see it. Love blinded me, or maybe just naivety. I wanted to believe that he was a good person deep down, that he just had some issues that he needed to work through. But I was wrong. And now I'm paying the price.
Dr. Horne's voice brings me back to the present. "Olivia, are you okay?" he inquires, concern etched on his face.
I take a deep breath and nod. "Yeah, I'm okay. I was just thinking."
He nods, jotting something down in his notebook. "What were you thinking about?"
I hesitate for a moment, but then decide to be honest. "I was thinking about Kevin. About all the red flags I should have seen."
Dr. Horne nods again. "It's important to recognize those red flags, Olivia. That's the first step in moving forward and healing."
I know he's right, but it's hard to face the truth sometimes. It's hard to admit that I was so blind to what was happening. But I know that if I want to heal, I have to confront those red flags head-on. And maybe, just maybe, I can start to move on from the trauma that Kevin inflicted on me.
“I think I have something that might help you to get past all of this anxiety,” Dr. Horne said. “A friend of mine runs a school for boys and girls dealing with mental blocks, anxiety, or other mental disorders. I think you could benefit from attending it. They have a program where you take college classes at the same time.”
“Really well, I don’t know,” I said, looking at him.
Dr. Horne leaned forward in his chair. "It's worth considering, Olivia. They have a great track record of helping young people overcome their mental health challenges and achieve their goals. And the fact that you can take college classes at the same time is a huge bonus."
I chewed on my bottom lip, considering his suggestion. It sounded too good to be true, but I was desperate for any kind of help. Maybe this school could be the answer I've been searching for.
"Okay," I said finally. "I'll look into it."
Dr. Horne smiled. "That's great, Olivia. I really think it could be a game-changer for you. It’s called Eden Hall Academy.”
We talked a bit more about the school and what it entailed, and I left the session feeling both hopeful and apprehensive. The idea of going back to school was both exciting and terrifying, but I knew that I needed to do something to break free from the cycle of anxiety and fear that had been consuming me since the incident with Kevin.
Chapter 2
Olivia
After talking to my mom for endless hours about the mental institute school we decided maybe it would be best if I went there for a year. Get some college courses and work on myself. The decision to enroll in a mental health institute school was not an easy one, but I knew deep down that it was the right step for my own well-being. My mom had always been my rock. Supporting me through thick and thin, and her endless hours of conversation and guidance, had helped me see the potential benefits of such a program.
Together, we researched various institutions that offered college courses. As well as specialized programs to help individuals, like me work through their mental health challenges. We wanted a place that would provide a safe and supportive environment. With professionals who could guide me toward personal growth and healing.
After careful consideration, we found a reputable institute that seemed to fit our requirements, the same one that Dr. Horne had suggested. It offered a comprehensive curriculum, including therapy sessions, group activities, and academic courses that could help me continue my education while focusing on my mental well-being.
The thought of leaving my familiar surroundings and embarking on this new chapter both excited and scared me. It meant leaving behind friends and family, but I knew that this was a crucial investment in my future. It was an opportunity for me to prioritize myself and commit to the journey of self-discovery and healing.
As the day of departure drew near, mixed emotions swirled within me. I was nervous about what awaited me at the institute, but also hopeful that this experience would bring about positive changes in my life. My mom assured me that she would be there to support me every step of the way, and her unwavering belief in my strength gave me the confidence I needed to take this leap of faith.
I sat on the bed, surrounded by a whirlwind of emotions. My room, once a sanctuary, now felt suffocating with uncertainty. Knowing that this conversation with my mom would be difficult, yet necessary. Taking a deep breath, I called my mother into the room.
My mom entered with a concerned expression, her eyes filled with love and worry. She sat down next to me, taking my hand gently. "Sweetheart, I know this decision has been weighing heavily on your mind. I want you to know that I'm here for you, no matter what you choose."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to compose myself. "Mom, I've been thinking a lot about what we discussed, and I believe that going to the mental institute school might be the best thing for me right now. I need a fresh start, and I want to focus on my mental well-being while continuing my education."
My mom nodded, her voice filled with empathy. "I understand, Olivia. It takes immense strength to recognize when we need help and have the courage to seek it. I'm so proud of you for acknowledging that."
My voice trembled as I shared my fears. "But leaving everything behind scares me, Mom. What if I don't fit in or what if it doesn't help? What if I'm just running away from my problems?"
Mom squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Those are valid concerns, sweetheart, but remember, taking this step doesn't mean you're running away. It means you're facing your challenges head-on, with the support and resources you need. You're not alone in this journey; we'll be right beside you every step of the way."
Tears started flowing freely now, a mix of fear and relief. "I'm going to miss you so much, Mom. Leaving home, leaving my friends, it feels so overwhelming."
She pulled me into a warm embrace, holding her tightly. "I know, my love. It won't be easy, but sometimes the greatest growth comes from stepping out of our comfort zones. We'll visit you, and we'll be there for you, cheering you on."
