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“Yeah, okay.” Bowling. Right.
He is just my friend. My friend with the model smile and the perfect manners and a body carved from marble…
The butterflies in my stomach were just a fleeting thing the other night. Nothing to worry about. Hell, I’d been the one to introduce him to the woman he eventually married and had children with. Things will never be romantic between us, no matter how single and lonely we are.
When he misses an easy split, I give him shit for it, and he takes it like a champ. Good old, reliable Rowan, with a smirk that drives me crazy.
After we end the night two games to two, it’s no big deal that our hug lasts a little longer than usual and there’s no friendly back pat. When he lingers and his eyes dip to my mouth, that’s completely ordinary friend behavior. I ignore the strange weightless feeling in my chest and the breathiness in my voice when I blurt out, “Goodnight,” and rush into my apartment. Totally normal stuff.
Because we are platonic so none of that means anything. There is no chance he’s seeing me in a new light the way I’m seeing him. This is all in my head. I know it. Has to be.
But two nights later when we go to the theater, it changes. There’s something about wearing a beautiful dress and seeing him in his slim cut suit that just works for me.
It’s all made worse when he puts his hand on the small of my back as we walk inside.
Every nerve is roused, and I fight a shiver. Is he trying to turn me on? Does he know what that does to a woman?
When we get to the bar, he orders my Riesling and his Syrah, and I can’t stop watching the way he interacts with the bartender. He’s not flirting, but she definitely is. In fact, looking around the lobby, I realize half the women there are checking him out. A few of the men, as well. It’s nice to be envied.
After a glass, we find our seats. Damn, he smells good. As the show goes on, I realize his arm is touching mine. It’s just the cuff at first but then when he moves, his finger brushes against mine. I lean slightly closer, almost putting my head against his shoulder. His cologne is intoxicating. Catching me by surprise, his hand inches closer to mine and our fingers intertwine.
My heart starts to race. This is something else. It’s like he’s telling all those envious eyes that we’re together. That I’m his and he’s mine. And I like it.
He’s making me nostalgic for teenaged make-out sessions in the back of a movie theater. All those times I was there with some boy…maybe it should have been Rowan back there with me. No, that’s silly—we definitely would have ruined our friendship back then. But now?
I don’t know.
Regardless, we aren’t in high school and this isn’t some sticky-floored, popcorn butter-reeking movie theater. We are adults having a grown-up night out at a proper play. But part of me wishes we were back there when things were less complicated and I didn’t have a twenty year-long friendship at stake.
Being so close to Rowan, I am going out of my mind. I want to grab him by the lapels and kiss him. Maybe straddle his lap while I’m at it. Show him what he’s been missing. I try not to squirm in my seat from the thought, but it’s impossible.
Heat rises up my cheeks, and I can hardly hold still. I’m grateful for the intermission so I can run to the bathroom and cool off. When I get out, Rowan stands nearby with a glass of water for me. “Thought you might need this.”
“How come?”
“You seemed warm. You’re a little pink.” He gestures toward my cheeks.
“Right. Warm.” I drink the entire glass of water to cool down, pretending it’s a cold shower for my libido.
“Are you alright? Did dinner not settle with you?”
“You don’t think the theater is a little warm?” I try to cover.
“I was completely comfortable.”
I’m not sure if he’s talking about the theater or putting his arm around me. But when we go back in, we resume our positions without a word said about it. I don’t know what he wants from me, but when my head rests on his shoulder, I like it more than I should.
11
Rowan
“Earth to Rowan.”
I look at Sawyer sitting behind his office desk. “Yeah?”
“Where were you just now?”
“Ah, sorry.”
