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Thea gaped at the Warsword. ‘How can I not know something like that?’
‘Hardly anyone left at Thezmarr knows. When I was a shieldbearer, I took my mother’s family name. I wanted tomake it on my own, without living in the shadow of Malik’s reputation.’
‘It seems you were successful.’
‘All the glory in the world means nothing when you fail to save your brother from a terrible fate.’
Thea’s throat constricted. ‘What happened?’
‘The fall of Naarva…’ The words seemed to tumble from Hawthorne now, as though this was the first time he was speaking them. ‘A swarm of shadow wraiths and their masters attacked, Malik and my mentor were caught in the fray. These creatures were the largest of their kind I’d ever seen. Against them, even Malik looked small.’
Thea stared, unable to imagine her giant friend looking anything other than larger than life.
‘Malik was cornered, thrown around like a child’s toy, slammed into the rock again and again. I was too far away to do anything…’
‘It wasn’t your fault,’ Thea murmured.
‘I should have been at my brother’s side.’
‘If Malik couldn’t stop them, you had no chance,’ she told him, finding herself reaching for his arm. Her hand closed over the warm skin there. ‘He wouldn’t have wanted you to get hurt.’
‘Malik the Shieldbreaker, they once called him. No one ever made a shield Malik couldn’t break. He was also known for breaking the shieldbearers in.’ As though remembering himself, Hawthorne looked at where she touched him. ‘It’s getting late,’ he said. Her hand fell away as he got to his feet and rummaged for his bedroll. ‘We should get some rest before tomorrow.’
Thea tried not to let her disappointment show. ‘Of course.’
But then the Warsword paused. ‘You never said what you did.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘For fun.’
‘Oh…’ Thea struggled for a moment then. Wren had her inventions, Sam had her dalliances, Ida loved helping out in the stables and riding when she could. But Thea… Whatdidshe do for fun? Fun had never been the purpose, had never been the driving force for her actions, but that didn’t mean she didn’t experience joy…
Slowly, Thea met Hawthorne’s gaze once more. ‘I train,’ she said.
‘Just as well.’ Hawthorne nodded. ‘You’re already behind the rest of the shieldbearers.’
‘Like I said, I like a challenge.’
Hawthorne lay down on his bedroll, resting his hands behind his head and looking up to the stars. ‘So I’ve gathered.’
Thea woke with a jolt. The night stared down at her, a black vastness that made her feel small and insignificant. Something nudged her boot and she started, reaching for the dagger she no longer had.
It was only Dax. The embers of the fire were still glowing, enough that she could make out his elongated frame and ragged coat.
A few feet away, movement caught her eye.
Hawthorne. He was thrashing about on his bedroll, murmuring incoherently, a sheen of sweat on his brow.
Thea froze. He wouldn’t want her seeing this, that much she knew. Anguish spilled from his lips in a language she didn’t recognise, his face pained.
Thea understood the force of inner horrors all too well, and she wasn’t about to let them drag him under. She went to him and laced her fingers through his. He was cold as ice.
‘Hawthorne,’ she said, as gently as she could. ‘Hawthorne, wake up…’
His grip tightened around her hand and he quaked. ‘No, don’t!’ The words were both a command and a plea. ‘No…’
‘Hawthorne,’ Thea shook his shoulder with more force. ‘Wake up. It’s a dream, it’s just a dream.’
