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You’re ok.
You’re ok.
You’re ok.
I inhaled slowly and exhaled through my nose. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. I did this several more times. My never-fail coping mechanism wasn’t working. I panicked, and my “suppressed” feelings were bubbling up my esophagus, threatening to humiliate me in public if I didn’t leave immediately.
I clutched the armrest and bumped Kenzie’s arm. “Are you all right?” she whispered, with brows furrowed.
“No.” I rocketed out of my seat and ran out of the auditorium with a hand over my mouth and tears burning my cheeks. Gagging in my mouth, I kept sprinting until I made it to the restroom in barely enough time to lose the contents of my stomach in the toilet.
When my stomach stopped convulsing, I left the stall and drew up short on my way to the sink. Kenzie and Theo were both standing by the counter, waiting.
“We have your things,” Theo said. Both of them studied me like I was a rare lab specimen.
“Thanks.” I reached out and turned on the faucet, my hands still shaking. I couldn’t lose my composure in front of them. I just couldn’t. I methodically rubbed my hands together and studied myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy. Tears stained my flushed cheeks. For over a week and a half since I’d been home, I was trying to hold myself together, but my life felt like a speeding car with no brakes. I was bound to crash eventually, and dammit, why was my body breaking down before my eyes? I’d just had my period but had never had severe PMS like this.
A thought popped into my head that I stubbornly pushed aside. I dried off my hands and then padded my face because the stupid tears refused to quit.
“Talk to us, Sorina.” Kenzie placed her hand on my shoulder. Both she and Theo were peering at me through the mirror.
I gripped the edge of the counter, dropping my head. “I got overheated and felt sick. That’s all.”
“Is this the first time you’ve experienced nausea?” she asked.
I contemplated lying, but I shook my head. “No.”
She felt my head. “You don’t feel hot.”
“I think it’s just stress and nerves.” I rubbed my temples as I thought about finding out the truth about Arty and how Dmitri broke my trust and my heart by withholding information. Every night, I was exhausted but too tired to sleep, and the waterworks commenced as my head hit the pillow. “I’m also extremely tired.”
“Do you think you might be pregnant?” Kenzie tilted her head.
“What?” My lashes fluttered wide.
“Do your boobs hurt?” she asked, like she was a nurse, about to strum through a set of standard questions.
After staring in shock, I finally relented. “Yes. They’re tender. But I’ve already had my period.”
“Was it a normal period or spotting?”
“Kenz, stop pressuring her,” Theo admonished softly.
Doubt began to fill my head with each question. “Spotting.”
Kenzie patted my shoulder. “I’m not trying to be invasive, but I think you should get a pregnancy test.”
Pregnant? I couldn’t be pregnant. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t think I’m pregnant.”
“Look. I saw this happen to one of the girls in my sorority last year. She had the same symptoms but was in denial. She was a big party girl and continued to live it up. One night, she drank too much at a mixer and ended up falling down the stairs at the sorority house and miscarried.”
Theo and I both sucked in a breath.
Kenzie studied my face. “What’s the harm in taking it? If you’re not, you’re not. However, if you are, you need to know. Not only for your sake, but if there’s a baby… It’s the responsible thing to do, especially considering you participate in a high-risk sport.”
“This can’t be happening,” I said numbly. What if I was pregnant? If I was, I had to tell Dmitri. How would he take the news? I couldn’t even trust him and Arty. Everything was a big mess. But I had to face my problems head-on. I pushed off the counter and straightened my shoulders. “Fine. I’ll do it.” For the first time in my life, I didn’t shove my feelings and insecurities aside and act like I could do this on my own. “But you both are coming with me.”
“As if we were going to leave you to do this by yourself.” Theo linked her arm through mine, and Kenzie was at my other side. “Let’s go.”
