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No matter how many times I told myself to move on, I couldn’t.
I’d told myself a million times over the past week that I’d made the right decision—the practical decision that would please everyone. Everyone except Kiran and me. My heart weighed heavily, and my nerves were constantly on edge. I didn’t have the desire to eat because I’d been fighting off nausea for the past few days since I’d been home. And when I did force myself to eat, I had to fight myself to keep it down.
Get yourself together, Nat.
As I was putting the finishing touches on the decorations, the doorbell chimed. “I got it,” I yelled, assuming it was some of my mom’s friends or neighbors who were arriving early. When I flung open the door, I froze.
“Hello, Hardcore.” Axel stood before me in a gray fitted Henley tee and black tapered pants, with unlaced Nike high-tops. He looked so handsome, and I hated myself for gawking at him like he was a tall glass of water in a desert. I’d missed him like a sickness. However, it finally dawned on me that he was actually standing before me at my house. How did he know where I lived?
Schooling my face, I stared at him. “What are you doing here?”
“You’ve been ghosting me.” His expression was solemn, and he looked tired, as if he’d lost sleep. Then I reminded myself he was an asshole, and I wouldn’t succumb to his manipulative behavior anymore.
Regardless, I met his gaze and asked sarcastically, “I wonder why? For the record, I made a resolution to stay away from insensitive jerks.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I deserve that.”
“You definitely do. No guessing about it.”
“Thanks for the affirmation,” he deadpanned. He stared me down, taking his time before saying, “I need to talk to you.”
My heart buzzed in my chest. I could hear my mother and sister-in-law arguing in Nepali in the kitchen over the food. Soon, one of them would come in here and wonder who was at the door. “Now is not a good time.”
“I’m not leaving,” he said simply, and I knew Axel wasn’t one who was easily dissuaded when he wanted something.
I gripped the edge of the door. “Stand there if you want. I don’t care.” I tried to close the door, but he flattened a hand against the panel, stopping me.
“Axel, leave now before I cause a scene. I have nothing to say to you.”
“Just hear me out. I didn’t come to cause trouble.” He gazed at me solemnly, dropping his hand from the door. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I was an asshole. And I miss you. I miss us.”
I wanted to believe him. My heart ached, screaming for me to listen to him and give him a chance. However, my pride held me back, and I couldn’t forget the words he’d said to me that night in his car, the way he treated me. I couldn’t forget the images I’d seen of him living it up in Vegas. Living up to his image. “I can’t do this with you.”
“Don’t do this, Natalie. You don’t love him, and you know it.”
“It’s too late.” My eyes started to burn with the threat of unshed tears.I would not cry in front of him. “Goodbye, Axel.” Catching him off-guard, I slammed the door. My heart thumped erratically, and I placed my hand over my chest sucking in air. Streaks of wetness trailed down my cheeks, and my stomach churned.
“Kanchu, who was at the door?” My mother’s voice pierced through the air from the kitchen.
I swiped at my face and called out, “No one we know. Just a solicitor.”
Damn you, Axel.
Damn you for making me cry again.
Hiking up my skirt, I ran to my room before anyone saw me crying. I went straight to my bathroom to grab a tissue and held up an empty box. I must’ve gone through that box last night when I had another pity spell. Sighing, I tossed it into the trash and opened my cabinet to retrieve another box.
However, I paused when I saw a box of tampons. My mind raced. When was the last time I started my period? It was after spring break, but that had been well over a month ago. I did a mental calculation as panic began to settle in. Oh, my god, that was at least six weeks ago.
I rushed over to my phone that I’d left on the nightstand to charge. Unhooking the cord, I saw a text from Lizzie that she’d sent two hours ago.
Axel came by the dorm looking for you. And I think he’s coming to your house. I swear I didn’t give him your address. Sorry.
Too late, I thought wryly.
I found her name and called her.
She answered on the first ring, rushing out, “Nat, I’m sorry. He forced me to tell him where you were.”
