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Fortunately, my professors had given me an extension, and I was able to finish my spring semester classes online. Obviously, I lost my position at the library, but I didn’t lose any sleep over it. Lizzie was kind enough to deliver my car back to my parents’ house and stay with me for a few days because I was falling apart.
We were a Nepalese family living in central Texas and had Father’s burial service with our Hindu priest. His body was cremated, and my mother booked arrangements for us to fly to Kathmandu to spread his ashes on the Bagmati River. We spent the rest of the summer in Nepal, visiting with family. My mother owned her own beauty salon, and my father owned a dry-cleaning business. Luckily, he had trusted people who could continue to run the business. And, always a planner, he had a life insurance policy that would assure our family was financially stable in the event of his death.
I considered taking the fall semester off from Hillside. However, my mother was having none of that. “You are going back to school.”
“I will. I just need more time. I’m not ready.”
“No. You need to go back to school. Back to Hillside. It’s what your father would want you to do.” She ran her hand through my hair. “You are my strong child. I know how difficult this is. I know how much it hurts. But your father will always be with us. Always. If he were physically here right now, he would tell you the same thing. He would never want you to wallow in pity over his death.”
“I’m not wallowing in pity. I just miss him so much.” I’d never had to deal with grief in my own personal life, and although we believed in reincarnation, it was still difficult to process why my father’s life was cut short.
“I know you do.” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she pulled me into a hug. “I miss him, too. But that is just his physical aspect. His soul still exists. And we must take comfort in that and celebrate.”
When we’d come home from Kathmandu, I’d received an email saying that I’d been accepted for an internship as a trainer for the Falcons football team. My classes were already set for the fall since I’d preregistered in the spring before finals.
Now, it was my junior year, and I was back at Hillside. Back in the same dorm that I shared with Lizzie last year. When I entered the room, she was sitting on the edge of her bed with her nose stuck in a thick manuscript. She was trying out for the lead role in a new play on campus.
Her head popped up when I closed the door, and she called out, “Nat! How was your first day as a sports trainer?”
Earlier events on the field came flashing back, and I shrugged. “I don’t know. Uneventful.” It was only day one of my internship, and I felt like I was thrown under the bus. I was certain I was about to lose this position if Josh, the person who was my mentor and also one of the lead trainers, was already accusing me of sleeping with the players to get this position in the first place.
And Axel certainly didn’t help matters. I knew it was inevitable I would see him on the field among the hundred other football players, but I didn’t expect to be singled out and have to actually tend to him. Talk to him. Touch him.
Then I broke down on the field and ran off.
I took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” Lizzie asked.
“Nothing to talk about.” Changing the subject, I pointed to her stack of papers and set my backpack down. “How’s it going with the script?”
“Oh.” Her face lit up. “I think it’s going well.” She’d told me about a new play the theater department was producing, which was a modern remake ofThe Breakfast Club. Lizzie wanted to audition for the part of Claire Standish, the spoiled rich girl who was misunderstood. “Do you mind helping me go over some lines?”
“Sure.” I moved to sit beside her and scanned over my lines. Lizzie was driven when it came to acting, and I’d seen her performances on campus. She’d never won the lead role in a production at Hillside, and I knew how important this was to her to get this part. Not to mention, she was a very good actress, and her time was going to come, considering all the hard work she put in.
After going over the scene several times, she peered at me with self-doubt lingering in her eyes. “What do you think? Am I too over-the-top?”
“Are you kidding? I think you own this role.” Lizzie and I had seenThe Breakfast Clubseveral times since we loved old, angsty movies. It was one of our favorites.
In many ways, she was like the character in the movie… the only child of a wealthy family. She’d told me how her parents spoiled her with all of the material things she could ever wish for. However, they never gave her the one thing she really wanted. Their love and their time.
Lizzie had grown up with a nanny, while her mother and father gallivanted around the world. Her father was a famous musician in a rock band, and her mother was a costume designer who fell in love with him on the road, and they were inseparable ever since. Their careers seemed to take precedence over having a normal family. By the time Lizzie was twelve, she was sent to boarding school, where she attended until she was eighteen.
Although she never really lamented over her upbringing, it wasn’t too difficult to draw conclusions. Don’t get me wrong, she was a sweet person and a loyal friend, and for the most part, seemed very happy. However, there were moments when I could see a sadness she was hiding with a smile. The loneliness. In fact, she’d ended up spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family last year, since her parents were out of the country.
“Do you think I’ll get the role?”
I reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “I have no doubt you will.”
“Thanks, Nat,” she said with a smile. “How are you doing? You know,reallydoing?” Lizzie had been a rock for me when my father died. She’d been there for the funeral, and she flew to Kathmandu and stayed with me for a few weeks, as well. Even when she wasn’t there, she’d called almost daily throughout the summer to make sure I was doing okay.
“I’m doing better. It’s hard, but I’m just trying to take it day by day.” It still hurt like hell, but if I kept telling myself I was fine, eventually, I’d believe it—right?
She leaned in and gave me a hug. “I’m always here for you if you need to talk.”
“I know, and I’m here for you, too.” I blinked, keeping the tears at bay. It was comforting to know that I had a good friend who had my back. When we pulled apart, both teary-eyed, I swiped at my eyes. “Okay, enough of this sappiness. Let’s discuss the most serious problem. What do we want to eat for dinner?”
The next day, I rushed to practice, wondering whether I still had a spot on the team as an athletic trainer. I knew I was running late, but my mom had called me, which caused me to panic, making my heart stop, terrified something dreadful had happened again. My mind always seemed to go into panic mode when she called unexpectedly. Luckily, she just needed to talk to me. My brother and my sister-in-law had flown to New York to visit her parents in Queens, so my mom wanted to hear my voice and know I was okay.
