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I expected him to scowl or look at me like he was pissed. Instead, he rolled over on his side, and I felt some kind of sorrow at missing his weight, missing the heaviness of him between my legs.Instead, he drew the back of his fingers over my cheek, watching me with… tenderness and understanding? “You’re not?”
“No. I never had a need for it in the past.” The more I spoke, the more I felt like an idiot. How could I have not prepared myself regardless of whether I was having sex or not? It wasn’t like this moment wasn’t ever going to happen between us, considering the build-up. I was completely irresponsible, plain and simple.
“It’s okay. You’re on your period,” he said, like this situation wasn’t that big of a deal for him.
“I know, but we should be more careful next time.” The words sounded more like a question, even to my ears. Then I wondered if this was a normal occurrence for him.
“I have always been careful. I’ve never put myself in a questionable situation. I’ve never fucked anyone without a condom. Safe sex has been drilled into my head since I was a preteen.”
“But you didn’t wear one with me.” I knew I sounded ridiculous, stating the obvious, and I should’ve had the wherewithal to know we were taking a risk.
“I didn’t wear one with you,” he said slowly. “I’m sorry. I got caught up in the moment.”
“I did, too.” I rolled onto my side to face him. “I didn’t mean to be irresponsible. All my life I’ve made sensible decisions and stayed focused on school and going to grad school when I graduated from Hillside. Having an accidental pregnancy was not part of my plan.”
“Oh, yeah? We’re talking about accidental pregnancies right now? You think being irresponsible was part of my plan?” he asked lightly, with eyebrows raised. If anything bothered Axel, it was near impossible to decipher. However, it wasn’t difficult to know what his words implied, especially when you knew the context of his situation.I’m about to sign a multi-million-dollar contract with an NFL team in a few months.Who wouldn’t try to take advantage of me?I had a fleeting thought that he’d wonder if I were some kind of gold digger or something, considering how I’d heard some of the players on the team talk in passing about girls trying to trap them.
“Hey. Next time, we’ll be more responsible. Okay?” He leaned in and kissed me in reassurance. “Everything will be fine,” he whispered against my lips, curling his muscular arms around me and holding me like I was his most cherished possession. And I relaxed against him, believing him.
I woke up disoriented in the dark with a heavy weight over my chest and realized Axel’s arm was holding me down. “Hello, Sleeping Beauty,” he said beside me. Letting my eyes adjust, I caught the small smile through the faint light of moonlight passing through the blinds.
“What time is it?”
“Almost midnight. Are you scared you’ll turn into a pumpkin?”
Glancing around me, it dawned on me that I was naked under the sheets. And I’d started my period. Wild panic coursed down my spine, hoping I didn’t stain his sheets. I struggled to get up like the room was on fire. “I need my purse. I need to go—”
“Easy, Natalie.” He kept his arm snug around me. “I took care of everything.”
“Everything?” Confusion muddled my brain. I rubbed my thighs together and felt a tenderness at my core from him breaking my barrier. And something else. Did he? No, he couldn’t have.
“Yes.” He leaned over me, kissing my lips as his hand trailed down my pussy, and his fingers parted my thighs. Something light tickled my inner thigh like a small paintbrush. It took me a moment to confirm what it was.
“You inserted my…?” I couldn’t finish my thought because I would’ve never thought he would do something like that. Who would? And although it was strange, warmth flooded my veins from my head to my toes. Who would’ve thought Axel could be so tender and caring?
“Yeah. I told you I’d take care of you.”
“How did you know…” My cheeks flushed because this was embarrassing. “What to do?”
“I got your purse.” His shoulder lifted as if wasn’t a big deal. “It wasn’t difficult to figure out.” He ran his hand over my stomach, massaging gently. “I have a heating pad and ice packs if you’re feeling discomfort, you know, for your cramps.”
Oh, my gosh. My ovaries were about to explode. I never would’ve discussed my period with anyone. My mother and I barely talked about it besides her giving me the basics of what to do, and that in itself was very vague.
However, Axel had shown me tonight that it wasn’t something dirty or something to be ashamed of. Life wasn’t put on pause because of something females had to deal with. “That’s so sweet, but I’m okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” He kept rubbing my stomach, and I closed my eyes, sighing in contentment.
“How come you don’t know how to swim?”
My eyes shot open. The events from earlier passed through my mind. I could’ve drowned, and Axel saved me. I should know how to swim. I was probably the only person here tonight who didn’t. I pressed my lips together.
“Natalie.” He cupped my chin, bringing my gaze to his. “Don’t be embarrassed. You’ve never shied away from telling me the truth before. I think we’re beyond embarrassment by now.”Yes, we were.
I couldn’t explain it. Scratch that. There wasn’t a definitive moment where you could say, “Oh, that’s why you never learned.” But I didn’t have a traumatic past where someone could pinpoint or make sense of why I didn’t know how to swim. We just never went swimming in our family. In fact, we went to the beach, but it was strictly to see the scenery.
I measured my words before I spoke. “It’s… I know it’s, like, one of those things that everyone should know how to do. Like learning CPR. I should’ve taken lessons long ago, but I never learned how.” How many times would I feel embarrassed tonight?
