AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Don’t be ashamed,” he said. “It’s never too late to learn.”
“Honestly, I never wanted to swim. Never thought it was something I would ever do anyway. My family wasn’t big on swimming. However, my perspective… changed recently.” I heard the shake in my voice as my father’s kind, dark eyes passed through my mind.
“Because of your dad?” His thumb caressed my jaw. His voice was comforting, like a familiar blanket.
“Yeah.” Tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes.
“Talk to me,” he urged.
“Swimming wasn’t something that we ever did. My father wanted to. He wanted us both to learn how to swim.” No one in our family knew how to swim, but Dad told me that one day, we’d learn. However, we never had that chance. “He said we would learn. He said we’d take lessons together. But that never happened. I took for granted the time we had left together.”
“Baby, don’t blame yourself,” he said, with a voice full of emotion.
The tears continued to pour as if I were going through a cleansing. I burrowed my head in his chest while he enveloped me like a warm blanket. And all the feelings I kept well hidden fell out of me as I sobbed into his chest, using him as a buffer to absorb my pain. Although I knew this wasn’t a true relationship, his comfort and the safety I felt right now seemed very real. Everything seemed so real.
Axel
Damn. I realized I hated seeing her suffer. I would gladly take her pain away if I could.
I felt a connection with her and could sympathize with her loss. It was difficult to talk about the death of a loved one.
Trust me, I knew. I kept my feelings buried inside, trying to keep a brave front to everyone. I was sixteen years old when my mother died. It was devastating. It was unexpected. And it nearly killed my father. It made me question ever falling in love when I saw how my father shut down and almost self-destructed. He said he lost his better half and didn’t know if he could move on. I didn’t know if he’d move on at the time either. Eventually, he did, and I did, too.
But right now, my concern was with my beautiful girl bawling against my chest, and I’d be there for her. “Let it out, Nat. I know you need an outlet,” I urged gently. If she was anything like I thought she was, anything like me, she didn’t let her emotions show too much, or at all. I rubbed my hand up and down her back and leaned down with my lips kissing the top of her head. “You can always come to me if you need a shoulder to cry on.” Every sob muffled against my chest made me ache a little more.
After the sobs wracking her body began to subside, her cries downsized to broken whimpers. Fuck. I felt like that sixteen-year-old kid, hearing about my mom’s car accident…
“I’m so sorry,” she sniffled deeply. “I’m making a mess.” That wasn’t the only thing she’d made a mess of, I feared, but I shook off that notion. She leaned back, sniffling loud again, pointing at her nose. “I just need a—”
“I’ll get it.” I loped to the bathroom and snagged a box of tissues. When I came back, she was curled up in the bed. Her dark eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, but she was still breathtaking in her vulnerability.
She smiled sadly as she took the box. “God, I know I must look awful.” She blew into the tissue.
“Nah, you look adorable.”
“Yeah, right,” she mumbled against the Kleenex in her hand as she wiped her nose. “When you said you wanted to have fun this afternoon, I’m sure this wasn’t the fun you were speaking of.”
No. It wasn’t. Not gonna lie, I’d been stressed lately with all the stuff going on in my life. Not complaining. Going to the combine and impressing scouts was great. Fan-fucking-tastic, actually. A blessing. But the craziness around this whole scene could sometimes be very overwhelming.Could be? It was. The national championship was crazy, but now I was out of college football. Making it to the NFL was different.
The media was at your heels twenty-four seven, capturing your every move. The agents were sniffing around, trying to hook in their next prospect. People, who you had no idea who they were, approached you, throwing around new and upcoming products they wanted you to endorse. And the women… The women were there, looking at you with dollar signs in their eyes. I had to stay focused and not get caught up in believing in the hype. But at the end of the day, I somewhat felt like a commodity. And I was. Business was business.
Luckily, I’d grown up with parents who’d kept me grounded and who were always my support system. God rest my mother’s soul. She set the foundation for me, as well as Dad. Since my father had already been there and done that, it helped that he’d been at my side, giving me valuable advice about navigating my career.
Regardless of the support system and being cautioned about the NFL biz, it could still be overwhelming and suck you under into a false sense of security. Honestly, I didn’t know shit about these people who acted like we were close friends. Too clingy, promising me everything under the sun, just because I had potential. I had, for lack of a better word, hype. Having hype was like a double-edged sword.
“Always remember who your true friends are and who will go to battle for you in the trenches.”My dad always said this to me as a reminder not to fall for fool’s gold. So, yeah, maybe I came back here, hoping to find some familiar territory. To find Natalie and mess around to take my mind off things. To have some fun.
However, now, I just wanted to be here for her.
I could’ve made a teasing comment. Did the lighthearted bullshit I did with most people, but I didn’t. I just wanted to be real. Sitting down on the bed, I gazed down at her. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with you.”
Her head shot up in surprise as she swiped at her eyes. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She clutched the tissue in her hand. “It still hurts.”
“I know.” I nodded, thinking about my own personal pain. “It hurts like hell. I’ve been there.”
